this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
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A dream like that can fuck you up.
Back in high school, I had a dream that was too real. I tend to have hyper vivid dreams to begin with, even now.
But this one? Fuck.
It was a love story. No specific person, it was an imaginary girl that my brain cooked up for the dream. We met, dated, fell in love. And it kept going. Getting married, having kids, and in such detail that it is still in my memory as strong as some things that happened for real.
She died in the dream and I woke up just sobbing uncontrollably. An entire fucking life crammed into a few hours of sleep, however long the rem cycle took.
It changed me. I like to think for the good, since it made me much more willing to work in a relationship, to put in the effort it takes to be a good partner (well, my definition of such any way, might not be the same standards that others have, I dunno).
It also made me willing to end a relationship that isn't working instead of clinging to the idea of being with someone. Not that I never had trouble letting go, but on average, when it became obvious that it wasn't going to work, I could step away and not carry any animosity or regret. I think it's a big part of the reason I can be friends with most of my exes.
Same, I felt so much love in that one particular dream (and I for one don't usually remember dreams at all), but this one holds a special place. Met this woman, felt in love, have a daughter whose name I remember when I woke up but sadly not anymore.
You know, seeing these responses with other people having experienced it too is cathartic.
I've never met anyone irl that had that kind of dream, and the last time I mentioned it online, nobody popped up that had. It's nice to know that it isn't some kind of isolated thing, that it's not just me being weird.
I am now middle age, the dream was when I was like 20, 21, and have a real life children (daughter+son) and wife. But I do think of my dream wife and daughter now and then and felt a tingle of old love for them. Maybe in a parallel universe that they exist.