this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024
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Their behaviour is weird and self-contradictory and drag is sick of it!

People constantly ask drag why drag uses neopronouns. And then when drag answers, they get mad about the answer. What gives!?

This person here seems nice, no shade on them, but look at the downvote numbers. Three other people upvoted their accepting comment, saying drag should be dragself. But it looks as though those same three people downvoted drag for explaining drag's pronouns. So they hate drag for being drag, but they like platitudes and symbolic gestures of acceptance. It doesn't make any sense.

Drag is wondering whether drag should even explain drag's pronouns to anyone anymore. Last week, drag got banned from [email protected] for explaining drag's pronouns. Someone asked, and drag answered their question. Drag didn't agree with the situation and made a thread on yepowertrippinbastards - https://lemmy.nz/post/15935996 - and most of the people in the thread accused drag of changing the subject to dragself and demanding others use drag's pronouns. Other people clog up the thread with demanding drag explain themselves, and it's drag's fault they asked.

Maybe drag should just ignore people who ask drag to explain drag's pronouns, or tell them no. But surely the transphobes will get mad at that, too.

Drag thinks maybe the reason they get mad when drag evades, and mad when drag complies, is because they just want a socially acceptable excuse to be mad at drag. They want to manufacture conflict so they can attack the trans person and pretend it's not about drag's transness.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 hours ago (8 children)

I mean, c'mon dragon rider, you have to realize that the inconsistent way you use drag as pronoun makes it confusing as hell, even to the best intentioned

And the choice of it as a pronoun is a hard sell to begin with. Neopronouns are pig dubious value, and a ton of people will point out that it makes it harder for trans people to be taken seriously against an already douche filled world. With it also being part of your screen name, the entire thing looks like a troll attempt.

Hell, I'm not certain you aren't trolling, and I enjoy seeing you around, making people think.

Truth? If you stuck to replacing gendered pronouns, you wouldn't run into the confusion. Replacing I with drag really, really doesn't work grammatically since drag is part of dragon rider. I, my, mine, they just aren't the same as gendered pronouns, and when you're wanting people to ignore a lifetime of speaking english with the rules of grammar as they are and replace self referential pronouns with a random word that's only for you, I'm surprised you haven't ended up banned across lemmy.

Seriously, you seem cool as fuck. But choosing to apply drag to I, me, mine, and then using drag's, which is a third person possessive, it just isn't ever going to end. You'll always have someone confused as the best case scenario. You could be the most awesome person on the planet, and the dissonance of being expected to adapt to inconsistent rules using an awkward word is offputting enough to make it not worth the effort of communication with you. If I had to try and remember to insert drag for every "you" in this, I would have quit entirely. It just isn't realistic to expect the majority of people to automatically obey your arbitrary rules.

What you're experiencing isn't transphobia, period. It's the dissonance of choosing a random word as a pronoun and expecting people to know what you're saying.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

You don't seem mad about the answer. You seem confused, but not angry. Drag is complaining about the people who actually get angry at drag for using drag's pronouns. The people who see someone ask about the pronouns, and drag answer, and then yell at drag for changing the subject. Drag thinks that's confusing. Drag doesn't understand how someone can refuse so strongly to be happy with anything.

Also, drag's pronouns are very consistent. Most people change the rules for their pronouns based on grammatical person, possessives, whether they're the subject or the object... They have so many pronouns! At least twelve!

Drag only has two pronouns, and they don't change inflection based on person or subject/object, and they always conjugate the same way. Drag's pronouns are four times simpler than most people's. They're not inconsistent or complicated, they're just unfamiliar. They're way easier to learn than most people's pronouns, but they do require that they be learned. You didn't complain about learning other people's pronouns, even though it took you years, because you were a toddler. You're all grown up now, and much smarter, so this is easy. But it does take effort.

And drag doesn't really mind if you don't want to do that effort either. If you want to use normal pronouns for drag, go ahead. Drag won't get mad. But if you want to discuss the grammar, then you do have to put in effort. Drag promises that it's much, much less effort than you put in when you were a toddler. But you do have to choose to try.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

My homie, I'm going to quote here

drag's pronouns are very consistent

That sentence is drag as a possesive noun. The 's means that the "pronouns" word right after the 's is possessed by drag.

You don't say, in English, I's pronouns, or mine's pronouns, or my's pronouns. You would only say my pronouns. My is the singular possessive of the self.

Like, I have mad respect for you, you make people think, and you handle the bullshit with grace. If you're going to make it work, you kinda have to choose between following english grammar and structure in a way that communicates clearly, or expect confusion followed by anger. When you try to explain your choices to people, you fall back on incorrect grammar. It makes it look like you're fucking with people rather than explaining.

Now, if you want to do that, that's cool. You can make that choice freely. I'm not trying to change your mind, or get you to do things the way everyone else does. But that's why you get anger.

Again, I dig you. I've enjoyed seeing you around lemmy. This isn't an attack. I'm just trying to explain what other people have said already, but in a slightly different way, since you seem to not see where the anger is coming from. It could be a language barrier, I dunno.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 hours ago

My is the singular possessive of the self.

That's right, most people change their pronouns when they're expressing ownership. But drag's pronoun is consistent and doesn't change for that case. Drag doesn't have a special possessive pronoun, drag just uses the same one as usual.

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