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Not sure about the Lemmy part of the question... but it'll definitely be safer to run nginx on a VPS and then communicate with your basement box over tailscale. That doesn't expose your home ip for your services. The other thing you can look into is using a wildcard cert so the specific services you're ruining aren't enumerated in your DNS, might not be necessary since you have nginx sitting in front.
Thank you! I have a followup question if you don't mind. If I host npm on a vps that allows me, say 500GB of data transfer a month, and I am streaming media through a jellyfin instance that I have forwarded through the VPS, will the media I'm streaming count against that transfer amount? This seems like basic information that I should have learned a long time ago.
Like the other poster said, the traffic will go through the VPS. But since you mentioned tailscale, why not just connect to your network over tailscale. You could even use DNS to point to your services (nicer names than IPs) but then the clients would connect directly and you wouldn't need to route through VPS.
I've definitely thought about it, and I would if it were just me. I share some services with family and I don't want to be responsible for troubleshooting if they accidentally uninstall tailscale or reset their phones
Yeah worth the reduced headache. Good luck!