this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
7 points (54.0% liked)
Asklemmy
43777 readers
1686 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Are you asexual? If not, you're going to have sexual attraction. Turning that off isn't going to happen. Now, you can have sex without being in a relationship. But, normally people do strive to have a romantic relationship and I doubt you can switch that off without some serious drugs.
I think many men that experience these feelings turn to anger. They blame society, women, other men, etc. They turn to toxic mentors who tell them how to be "alpha" and seek advice from "pick up artists". Do not do any of that.
Your attitude sounds like depression. You have given up. You say you aren't reliable or an "adult". Do you want to be those things? Or do you want to be miserable that you're not those things? Those seem to be your options.
Being miserable is easy. Just do nothing. Be lazy. Have regret.
Being the person you want to be is hard. It is for most people. Most of us are in some stage of trying to be better people.
"Either experience the pain of progress or the pain of regret".
Being miserable can be comfortable if that's what you're use to doing. It's your safe space. Other things are foreign, strange, and scary.
You'll have to work really hard to break that cycle. Your mind will be screaming at you to stop trying to better yourself. "There's no point!"... " "Just give up and go back to bed!"...
You'll have to work to reject those thoughts and demonstrate to yourself that you can. And eventually, you'll notice it won't be as hard or scary.
So, make a plan and start with small things.
Or continue to give up and feel miserable.
That's like 25%. Find yourself a sugar momma
That actually sounds realistic enough