this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024
116 points (75.4% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon is metal as fuck (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 144 points 5 months ago (4 children)

My testicles retreated into my body upon reading that. They're afraid to come out.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I'm in your walls and I brought my scissors with me. You sleep soundly.

Snip snip

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Nah, it's like with garlic. There are many ways to cut, but what really brings out the flavour is if you crush it. Which is why I'm in the ceiling with my hammer.

Whomp whomp

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Reading this made a sound in my head

Not a crushing sound, just the scream that would come with it

I'm scared XD

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Jesus Harold Christ what the goddamned fuck

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

You zhink we are making with the funny jokes, Labowski?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

You and me both brother

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

I don't even have balls yet I felt some sort of phantom pain reading this.

[–] [email protected] 90 points 5 months ago

What the fuck do not do this

[–] [email protected] 57 points 5 months ago

I know at least one dude who's parents caught him trying to cut off his balls with garden sheers when he was young in the 90s. They stopped him and he went on to play football and marry a woman and all the stuff his folks wanted. I wonder how he's doing now.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That has totally happened.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

But it is in the internet!

[–] [email protected] 42 points 5 months ago

Big fucking cap, you would immediately be known after you as a young kid screamed after even breaching the skin

[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ I may have dysphoria but I don't have thatphoria

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

ba dum tsss

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Currently 18 and will start HRT this month, why should we transition before 25 ?

[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago

After 25, the balls grow permanent roots into your brain and it's impossible to sniidy snip then.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

Get medical advice from a doctor, not a green text by a person who scissored their balls off in a hospital bathroom.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think because your body i still developing and can adpt to the changes way better.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Oh ok, i've heard about it, but more in a teenager context, also can't wait to be under hrt too