this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 178 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I can't believe this isn't satire. I hope these incompetent fuckers get sued into bankruptcy

[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I straight up thought it was satire. How can you be so fucking detached. Basically caused the biggest information infrastructure disruption in human history, probably billions in losses, and then be like "my bad lol here's a giftcard".

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 months ago

I cackled loudly. $10 won't even buy a meal at McDonald's most places.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

"Two feet on the gas" - Official Crowdstrike motto.

not /s

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My first reaction was to look for the onion

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There's definitely some clause with the $10 gift card that says you can't sue them if you actually take one lol.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago

I'm still not sure. It's hard to believe anyone at their company would OK this idea.

Are they actually trying to deliberately kill their brand?

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[–] [email protected] 120 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Holy shit, they also cancelled it. Lmao

On Wednesday, some of the people who posted about the gift card said that when they went to redeem the offer, they got an error message saying the voucher had been canceled. When TechCrunch checked the voucher, the Uber Eats page provided an error message that said the gift card “has been canceled by the issuing party and is no longer valid.”

[–] [email protected] 35 points 3 months ago

Gotta love some shit icing on the shit cake.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (7 children)

The gift card is also cursed.

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[–] [email protected] 96 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

hahahahha spot on

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Nice to see I wasn't the only one who saw it that way.

[–] [email protected] 92 points 3 months ago (1 children)

On Wednesday, some of the people who posted about the gift card said that when they went to redeem the offer, they got an error message saying the voucher had been canceled. When TechCrunch checked the voucher, the Uber Eats page provided an error message that said the gift card “has been canceled by the issuing party and is no longer valid.”

You can't write comedy this good...

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago

Classic corporate behaviour tho

Voucher was for PR, not for peasants to use it lol

[–] [email protected] 86 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 53 points 3 months ago

Hey, it's my namesake!

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I lost a day's holiday, and our team spent 8 man days on this entirely preventable mistake.

$10? Try extending our licence by another year for free, that might start going towards it.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (10 children)

Why would you want another year of their software for free? This is their second screw up (apparently they sent out a bad update that affected some Debian and RHEL machines a couple years ago). I'd be transitioning to a competitor at the first opportunity. It seems they aren't testing releases before pushing them out to customers, which is about as crazy to me as running alpha software on a production system.

I'm sure you have reasons, and this isn't really meant to be directed at you personally, it's just boggling to me that the IT sector as a whole hasn't looked at this situation and collectively said "fuck that."

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 3 months ago (1 children)

One of the rare cases where no gift would have been better

[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I expect these clowns to lose most of their market share within two years and get sued to oblivion.

My firm bills by the hour and so far I think we are at 10+ billing hours per consultant wasting time with client tech support trying to get back on our VDIs. Nevermind how much time is being wasted doing the work through work arounds. My guess is that our firm alone will bill for about $100,000 extra this month while having accomplished less than normal. I am sure Crowdstrike's gift card will fix it though.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

Fine. You want two?! Will that be enough??

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

They're backed by the US government. They have a backdoor into most endpoints on many international corporate computers. And CS is behodent to US laws for NSLs.

This is an incredible asset to the US intelligence community. They won't let CS go out of business.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 3 months ago

Give them some time. They have to manually reboot the gift card servers.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago (1 children)

“To express our gratitude, your next cup of coffee or late night snack is on us!”

A $10 Ubereats gift card will barely cover fees and taxes, let alone the actual item. What a clown ass gesture.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

My brother in law was stranded across the country for two days. $10 probably covers it lol.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 months ago (3 children)

This would be even funnier if there was exactly one $10 gift card everyone has to fight over.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

After the lawsuits, it might be all they can afford

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago (1 children)

$10 to Uber eats, so basically it’s covering fees only.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Not only that, but usually to activate these cards, you have to spend upwards of double what the card is worth too, and the fees cannot be included in the total

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago

So one banana.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Satire is well & truly dead.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

I thought it had to be a joke article from the title. Yeesh wouldn't want to be the person who gets the fallout from this idea.

[–] NigelFrobisher 29 points 3 months ago

I thought this was going to be The Onion.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 months ago (3 children)

This is a typical mail a phishing campaign would send out, and we have already said to people "never believe this kind of messages. They are all fake.

Now, if a genuine company sends out mails with a genuine gift-cards (what the article on techcrunch seems to indicate) .. this is NOT helpfull at all!!!

And that comming from a cybersecurity company (rolling-eyes)

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (20 children)

“All of CrowdStrike understands the gravity and impact of the situation”

Here's $10.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Not nearly enough. CrowdStrike should give a pizza party.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I see you’re channeling the powers of middle management.

Only needs a sticker that says “You’re a rock star!”

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They are going to get sued for billions and this little stunt isn't going to change that. Should have implemented proper software testing before you took ever corporate computer in the world, but companies like this always force their developers to rush instead of do the right thing and when it bites them expect that things will carry on as normal. I can't see many renewals in their future.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Not even that. Kernel drivers are supposed to be Microsoft WHQL certified through a thorough testing process (that would have caught it in 3 minutes) before Microsoft will cryptographically sign them.

...but apparently Microsoft allows AV vendors to skip WHQL certification testing.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This is a classic move to not get sued, exactly like airlines do. If you try to sue them after redeeming the gift card, they can argue that you've been made whole, and do 'ot 'eed additional compensation.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (5 children)

This is very misleading!

CrowdStrike did not send gift cards to customers or clients. We did send these to our teammates and partners who have been helping customers through this situation. Uber flagged it as fraud because of high usage rates.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

Only redeemable for CrowdStrike credits and only at participating locations.*

* No locations are participating at this time.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago

How is this not The Onion?

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