Dude is like a sentient fedora
this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2023
35 points (100.0% liked)
the_dunk_tank
15859 readers
27 users here now
It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.
Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.
Rule 3: No sectarianism.
Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome
Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)
Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.
Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.
Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to [email protected]
Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again
founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
putting the sentient fedora on at reddit hogwarts to determine what dumbass subreddit i get shunted into
"Hmm, oh yes you will fit right in at r/f7u12"
"Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"
"you belong in r/traa"
"Wait, what?"
I'm not like the other white guys. (yes I am, I'm literally just as racist)
I'm not like other white guys, I'm also downwardly mobile
White men are scary.
what is it about the worst to read, parse, & imitate forms of writing in what can still be called 'modern' english that possesses internet assholes to think it can in some way prove seductive?
by all means it can be -funny- to adapt an horrifically out-of-date patois, for a joke, but these people seem to believe that sounding like a fucking highwayman would in any way endear them to, anyone? like people are still casually reading Thackery and just waiting for someone to come along talking in that dialect?
and what's worse, it's an imagined version of it, a modernized, bizarre way of speaking that'd be fit for a disney film trying to wring the style without challenging an audience of children. a real 18th century book (or gentlesir) does not say "melanated". they say a slur.
I think it's the inauthenticity of it that annoys me the most. A guy would refer to himself as a gentleman, not a sir. That's just stupid. What are you, a baronet or something?
when it came to pass that I wasn't melanated, she grew aggressive and angered
He said the 
word, didn't he?
That was probably the clunkiest sentence in a goldmine of clunky, flowery sentences.
When it came to pass
When it occurred...
that I wasn't melanated
...that I'm not black
I wonder when exactly his non-blackness happened and why someone was upset with him during that event.
Honestly this is peak Redditor thesaurus abuse.
I don't have anything against big words but if you're going to reach for complex grammar and sesquipedal phrasing then at least make sure that it's actually within your grasp before you do it or you come off looking like a pretentious fool.
Verily, my veracity for verbosity is verboten and verifiably vainglorious
Vuck off
you never go full 
Have a phenomenal day.
There’s a lot of things I hate about Reddit loving neckbeard losers but the whole sarcastically polite thing trying to signal that they feel too far above you to be rude to you but they’re being sarcastic about it revealing the extent to which they don’t actually feel above you actually they feel kind of hurt and resentful but you were just being a normal human and they feel aggrieved by that… that whole psychic mess they all have is maybe what I hate the most.
Your Caucasity
Damn I thought that type of dude died out in '10s
I would say this has to be some dude just fucking around, but also I've met mfers like this in real life