this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago

Since no one has mentioned kids-in-mind.com yet, I appreciate the level of detail while still remaining as spoiler-free as possible. I've had that bookmarked since 2014, when my wife and I went on the first date away from our newborn son to go see a movie.

We figured we'd see some mindless action-comedy that was getting great reviews, and we had been loving the MCU movies so far. We got my parents to babysit, set up the remote babycam so we could watch him nap, and made sure our phones would vibrate strong enough to get our attention without disturbing people, in the event of an emergency. Parents will understand, you can go a little crazy with your first kid.

I even checked to see if any dogs die, because my wife was still in the post-partum emotional phase. The dog survives, yay!

So off we went to see Guardians of the Galaxy.

If you haven't seen it (or don't remember), the very first scene is an emotional death of the main character's mother in the hospital. She's dying of cancer, and he refuses to hold her hand as she passes. Then he runs away from the grandfather who promised to raise him in her absense, and is immediately abducted by aliens.

Credit to my wife, she managed to remain silent while ugly crying, and insisted we stay to watch the rest of the movie when I offered to take her home.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Pro-tip: IMDB has a parental advisory section that you can clock on for written detail of each incident in a movie (sex/nudity, violence, language, etc). It might contain spoilers, bit it's worth looking at before any movie you're recommending to a sensitive crowd. e.g. https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0417148/parentalguide?ref_=tt_stry_pg

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also doesthedogdie.com for a whole bunch of specific things you can check for

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Besides the obvious triggers (prejudice, guns etc.)

Does someone spit?
Is a child’s toy destroyed?
Does someone wet/soil themselves?
Does someone leave without saying goodbye?
Is someone's mouth covered?
Is there farting?
Are there underwater scenes?
Does a car honk or tires screech?

That's very detailed. Nice that there are no implicitly racist/sexist questions (like Is there a trans person?)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

They are indeed very detailed.

Minor character in Spirited Away is briefly seen smoking a cigarette: Mild drugs & alcohol.
King Julian twerking in Madagascar: Mild sex & nudity.
Blood briefly shown in Your name in medical context: Mild violence & gore!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Mild? Pfff. I prefer Habanero.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh my god, the horror. Please, show more guns and violence, quick!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Tbf, I'm definitely more comfortable watching simulated violence with my parents than simulated sex

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

99% of people are, but just think about that for a second.

In all civilized societies, sex is a normal thing that occurs regularly, and violence and gore is much much rarer and very traumatic to most people. The vast majority of parents had sex to make their children, yet watching actors simulate sex with our parents or children is much more uncomfortable than watching actors simulate violence. It’s really bizarre when you divorce it from our normal hang-ups.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Yes, but sex scenes have the tendency to make people horny. I don't want to be horny around my parents. On the flip side, violence doesn't create a feeling of bloodlust, so there's nothing to be uncomfortable about.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm not a prude but I've never understood sex scenes in movies. I don't want to watch that with my friends and family, nor do I want to watch that with strangers in a theatre. If I want to watch people fuck, I can just watch porn, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Sex scenes are going out of favour with the current generation, but there's value in having a platform for showing sex in a "normal" contexts as part of a whole charachter. Otherwise the only portrayal of sex is left to porn.

(As stated by a Wisecrack video on the matter which is well worth watching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eW4wf63PhI8)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm not a prude except for that I am.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I just think they're weird and unnecessary. I've never seen a sex scene that was important for the plot. They seem to just be added because they're sexy and I don't need to be turned on when I'm hanging out with friends and family, so what's the point?

I have no issue with nudity, by the way.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think there are several exceptions to this. Sex scenes in general follow “show, don’t tell:” having a character simply do X is usually preferable to having a character say “I did X.”

Some examples off the top of my head:

  • The Terminator - It shows how the main character becomes pregnant with minimal exposition
  • Shoot ‘Em Up - It highlights the absurdity of the film, equates sex with gratuitous violence, and tells you about the characters
  • Sausage Party - it is an illustration of The Absurd in the wake of an existential crisis
  • Team America: World Police - It functions as shock humor that also satirizes other gratuitous sex scenes
  • Irreversible- There is simply no amount of dialogue that could illustrate the amount of horror and violence the scene conveys and bring about the proper emotional response from the audience
  • Jackie Brown - It shows how pathetic the main characters are
  • Tomcats - It creates a comedic moment when the timid librarian turns out to be a dominatrix
  • Trainspotting - The film compares the high from heroin to an orgasm, and the sex scene extends that metaphor and helps the audience empathize with the main character’s struggle
  • Requiem for a Dream - Shows how Jennifer Connelly’s character has hit rock bottom
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)
  • The Terminator - It shows how the main character becomes pregnant with minimal exposition

So, you're saying the Terminator is not the main character in The Terminator? 🤔

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Correct, just like the alien is not the main character in Alien and Predator is not the main character in Predator.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

If you look at Terminator from this POV, the movie become a tragedy.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

interestingly, they said this about "The Kiss," an 18-second long early cinema piece (and the first cinema kiss) in which a man combs his mustache and then briefly pecks a woman on the lips.

A contemporary Critic wrote: "beastly enough in life size on the stage, but magnified to gargantuan proportions and repeated three times over, it is absolutely disgusting."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Lmao read it the same way

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd always find it amusing because my wife forgets the content of movies but remembers it was funny, scary, whatever.

When the kids were younger, my wife would suggest a movie to watch with the kids. I'd remember what was in it, she'd just remember it was funny. I didn't mind if the kids saw it, and she wouldn't really mind if the kids saw it, but I knew she'd be uncomfortable watching it with them.

Being a bit of an asshole, I'd just ask if she was sure she wanted to watch that with them. She'd say yes, and away we'd go.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"You really want to watch Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny with our 11-15 year old kids? Bet, can't wait"

~my dad, I assume

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Yooo, is NABDad your dad??

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why is there a 20-minute long graphic sex scene in the middle of Oppenheimer anyways?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

How can he become death without it? duh

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Before the movie starts: "I don't think it's got anything too bad in it."

15 Minutes Later: "Ok. We're going to turn that off now that we've learned all kinds of nice new words."

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What do you guys say after it's over to release the tension? Asking for a friend

[–] Juggs 16 points 1 year ago

So... Let's all go have a wank and reconvene in 10 mins?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Aw shit, I forgot about that scene. Wanna rewind it and watch it again?"

...yeah, no I don't have kids lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

"Oh daaaamn!" is usually my go-to

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

A friend of mine's mother and sister are born-again Christians. One night it was his turn to chose a movie, and for some inexplicable reason he chose "Easy Rider".
When the acid kicked in - the New Orleans cemetery scene - that was the straw that broke the camel's back, that's when mom and sis started screaming at my friend.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I had my parents watch Berserk 97 with me... needless to say they were worried.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Imagine being an award winning actor and never doing a full frontal.

By the way, that "Wolf of Wall Street" scene was a certified cinema classic, I regret nothing. Nothing!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Is this picture from the G-man prequel :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

What you will find in this movie

Clockwork Orange

Positive role models: 1/5

lol