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We visited my 83-year-old mom yesterday and let her know that we were going to use my dual citizenship to get to the UK to protect my queer daughter if Trump wins. She didn't like the idea but didn't say much. Then a short time ago I got this email.

Dear [MY NAME]

I know you are very worried about [DAUGHTER]'s safety if Trump wins. Here is what I want to say:

You have lived in a very privileged, unusual time with more stability than usual. People in the US and elsewhere have been able to say publicly who and what they are.

That was not true for much of history and for at least half of my life.

What did people do before?

They hid who they were, with few exceptions.

We are in a time of transition, and there may be no safe place in the world.

Certainly not England or Europe (both are becoming more fascist).

The best way to protect [DAUGHTER] is to teach her she may have to choose how public or private she is in the near future.

Up until now, you have helped her be public about who she is.

That privilege may be over.

And it may have given her a false impression.

If Trump wins, all of us are going to have to decide between resistance and safety.

To be safe, just obey the (new) rules.

Being hysterical just draws attention--the worst thing in a dictatorship.

Hiding can be literal (like building a false wall in your house) or political (like staying quiet and unobtrusive.)

Let's wait and see what happens in this election before deciding how to protect [DAUGHTER]..

Love,
Mom

Not only is my mother apparently blissfully unaware that queer people who were closeted got thrown in jail for it all the time anyway. She also seems to be unaware that my daughter has no problem telling people she's queer. She has no problem with me doing it and sharing things like pictures of her girlfriend with friends and family online.

Which means that Trump's administration could very easily figure out who she is.

But yeah, my mother thinks the solution to protecting my daughter from Trump is for her to go into the closet and hope no one finds out.

For fuck's sake. I know she's an old lady, but it's 2024.

What would she say if my daughter's mother was Latina? Wear pancake makeup and color contacts? Change her name to something not-Spanish?

I'm not even going to bother replying.

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/46477287

See, Lemmy is a relatively small platform. There are pretty few active users here. Moderators should occasionally bend the rules if people are having fun and post or comment is in good faith. We shouldn't moderate like robots; if I wanted that, I'd use Reddit or another meta platform. If we start banning every user and blocking each other, this place will become quiet and lonely. We should act like a community, not a big shitty corpo social media platform.

I made this post after some incidents like @[email protected] banning @[email protected] on [email protected] for posting intentionally funny comics. I know I know rule say comic should be unintentionally funny. Also, Ban of @[email protected] on [email protected] by @[email protected] for posting a NSFW (Not really) post without NSFW tag unintentionally.

Also, my comment on news of archive.org getting hacked and DDOS. (I said "People who are doing this fucking die") on [email protected]. I know, my comment is not in good faith but I have no sympathy for people who want to destroy information and knowledge.

10/10 vibes youtu.be/e6Funs6yyEw [8:38]

I don’t know how to pipe the link, as an advance heads up of my ignorance.

My daughter is in online school. It's a state public school, not a private school or homeschooling. She's in it due to being severely bullied. I have to stay home with her, but I don't actually teach her anything, I'm a designated 'learning coach.'

She has assignments based on the same shitty Pierson textbooks the regular school kids use and has online classes with accredited teachers. Those teachers are generally get paid better than other public school teachers since the whole thing is a deal with Pierson, so they're usually a better level of teacher, which is part of what pisses me off so much.

My daughter worked really hard on her science presentation, a slideshow she was assigned to do. The overall topic was humanity's impact on the environment and one of the options she could pick was disease. My daughter is a weird kid- in a good way- who is into history when it's weird too, so she picked the Black Death.

Like I said, she worked really hard. I was really proud of her too because it was the first time she worked on a project this big without asking for or needing any help from me. So, she saved the project as a PDF and submitted the assignment.

The next day (Thursday), she gets back a grade of a zero. This is the teacher's note:

I noticed that you submitted a placeholder for the portfolio assignment. Is this an error? The portfolio is worth a lot..so please contact me as soon as possible. Please note that intentional placeholders are subject to not being accepted. If I don’t hear back from you soon, I will assume that it is a placeholder. Please do not upload placeholders to move ahead in the class as this may result in failing grades, calls home and referral to administration.

My daughter isn't a cheater and, like I said, she worked really hard. This stressed her out a lot because one of the reasons we took her out of her middle school was that the teachers rarely had her back when it came to bullying and sometimes also treated her like shit. Because that's what school is like for neurodivergent kids, even in 2024.

So... were totally confused. On top of everything else, the PDF was right there to download when you review the teacher's message. I sent her an email asking her what the hell is going on and also have my daughter send her a Google Slides link instead just in case there is some corruption issue on her end or something even though I can download and view the PDF just fine.

We don't hear back all Thursday and nothing until mid-day Friday, when she sent us both what is clearly a form email, ignoring both of the messages we sent:

Hello Parents and Students!
I wanted to take a moment to let you know that your student received a 0 on their science portfolio, but the great news is that there's still a chance to improve that grade!
Please log into your student’s gradebook and click on the science portfolio grade to read the feedback provided. This feedback outlines how your student can correct any issues and resubmit the portfolio within the timeframe specified for a better grade.
Let’s work together to help your student succeed! Thank you!

She also responds to my daughter's google slides link and says it's a very interesting slideshow and asks where she got it from (you will see below why that is just a bullshit lie to get her to reveal that she cheated).

So I have my daughter also send her the PDF the "fill this out to help you with your research" document my daughter diligently filled out before doing her slideshow and I got mad and sent a message to her homeroom teacher, who you're supposed to go to for any major problems.

My daughter is now super stressed, and Friday is a pretty easy day for her, so I take her out to do things to give her a nice day- get her a smoothie, let her walk around Five Below, etc.

When we get back, maybe at 1 pm, I check my email. I get this from the teacher:

I have to apologize!! When I first saw her portfolio and saw all the old pictures and the Black Death title, I assumed ( I know, I shouldn’t have) it was a placeholder.

She left a similar voicemail to my wife and apparently one to my daughter, but I didn't read it. I just said thanks and told my daughter to say thanks as well.

But I'm just floored. She didn’t bother just reading the text. This is the slide right after the title slide. If she had taken a few seconds, she would have realized this is a middle schooler doing a science project:

(I'm not suggesting my kid is stupid, I'm saying that's pretty typical for her age.)

Be a little less lazy than your eighth graders, lady. And maybe don't automatically assume they're cheating.

At least she ended up giving my daughter 100%.

And it won't even be over on Tuesday no matter who wins.

I just have to start distracting myself when it happens.

This was part of a series of informational maps from a job search site (Zippia) for people looking to move for work.

Edit for readability:

Lower ranking is better, as in "rank 1" would be the best movie rated by that group.

The top section shows movies highly ranked by women, but lower for men. The bottom section is the reverse.

I saw this circulating around and thought it was an interesting read.

Some of these are horrendous, some are funny, and a few made me think "Hmm, maybe not a bad idea"

I honestly had no idea how much I wanted an Ernie sweater until I saw that ad. It was like, "why haven't I always wanted an Ernie sweater?!"

I hate how she's switching between units, but cool picture

Background:

As some of you know and are probably tired of hearing about it, I have been dealing with a weird medical condition for over a year now where I have been unable to eat solid food. It's been a mystery to doctors, even to the Mayo Clinic, but we keep working on ideas.

The most recent theory is that it is something called ARFID, which stands for Avoidant/Restricted Food Intake Disorder. It's an eating disorder, but not one that has to do with any sort of body image issues. It can be induced by trauma and I did have a really traumatic experience involving kidney stones and another mess with the medical system where I ended up lying in an ER bed for 6 hours after lying on a clinic floor for 4 hours before anyone gave me any painkillers about a month before everything started, so the current thinking is that is what triggered the ARFID.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant/restrictive_food_intake_disorder

Now, I'm working with an eating disorder clinic. I have a psychiatrist and a nutritionist I'm working with there. I haven't made too much progress yet, but it's early days.

Rant time:

So… the psychiatrist says I’m supposed to find an occupational therapist to deal with the ARFID. She gave me two names. One said they don't actually deal with that sort of condition and the other wasn't taking new patients.

So I've been looking myself calling around for one myself and all of the ones around me say that I need an occupational therapist that works with eating disorders. Cool. I'll search that big interconnected web of computers full of information about everything and find one of those.

I CAN’T FIND ONE OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST THAT CAN WORK WITH ME WITHIN A TWO-HOUR DRIVE!

And you know what both Google and Bing telling me when I search for occupational therapists who treat eating disorders? They're telling me occupational therapy is helpful for those with eating disorders. Lots of websites talking about how helpful it is! Thanks a whole fucking lot!

There are websites that help you search for occupational therapists. There are websites that help you search for people who treat eating disorders. THERE'S NO FUCKING WEBSITE THAT HELPS YOU SEARCH FOR OCCUPATIONAL THERAPISTS THAT TREAT EATING DISORDERS!

I know I'm not in New York or L.A. I'm in Indiana. But Indianapolis isn't exactly a tiny burg and it's only 60-90 minutes away depending on where I'm going. There's lots of doctors, hospitals, etc. There are also several small cities not that far away in both Indiana and Illinois (I'm on the border) including the one I'm in. College towns with big hospitals and lots of medical facilities. So you'd think they'd have someone.

Nope.

The only ones I find that do work with eating issues are pediatric, and I'm guessing they're not too keen on 47-year-olds.

So now I'm expanding the search to see if anyone will do anything via telehealth and hoping that the psychiatrist will respond to my email in a timely manner, but I know she's super busy just based on how far apart the telehealth meetings I'm doing with her are.

I hate this so much!

FYI- an occupational therapist is not the same as a licensed social worker. They have a degree in occupational therapy. https://college.mayo.edu/academics/explore-health-care-careers/careers-a-z/occupational-therapist/