this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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Well after 12 years and a child, I am now no longer in a relationship. It is a weird, sad, haunting feeling but in a weird way kind of relieving that I know what is going on after so much uncertainty. We've agreed to split everything 50/50 and want the best for all of us involved. So that's good.
But I am shit scared of being on my own. I basically went from living with my parents to living with her so I've never been on my own. I'm thinking up all these things and I see horror stories about renting or trying to buy and wondering if I earn enough. I already know I have to sacrifice things which is fine, I could do without them, but it's still a scary future.
2023 truly sucks balls.
sorry to hear. it does sound like you're both being decent and mature about it, which is small comfort but far more than many can say.
It is a small comfort and I am glad for it. Thank you.
Sorry to hear this, Dan. Sucks not to have a backup for the life admin, but this is a skill that can be learned. You may find that the solo life is just right for you and kid once you've learned how to do it. And the peeps here can be relied on to put in their two cents worth if asked.
Thank you :-) I've always appreciated your support.
Sorry to hear. Break up of long term relationship is one of the hardest life events. Good that things are amicable with partner. Life might be hard for a while but if the relationship wasn’t working it will also be a fresh start once the dust settles.
That's basically it. Fresh start and we are being amicable about it so it won't be as hard as it could be. Thank you.
I’m truly sorry Dan. I don’t know how old your child is but be mindful of unloading your anger or sadness about the divorce on them. It can can have long term effects.
Oh shit man I'm sorry you're going through this. May your cloud have a silver lining 🙏
Thank you. Just gotta get through this year
I'm so sorry .
Thank you :)
Well, this sucks, and Im sorry. If you're up for it, how about we take a different view on this? If you're up for it. You're absolutely entitled to wallow in misery of course!
spoiler
And end is always sad, but you know whats worse is staying in something when people are unhappy. Sounds like you guys were strong enough to call time, which is awesome cause a lot of people dont. They just stay and live out their lives in misery. And you cant go on to find someone whos gonna make you happy if your still in relationship where things aren't working. Its gonna be a bit scary. And its at times gonna be tough. But your kiddo is gonna be better off with 2 happy parents. When you are ready, reframe it as a new beginning. This could be the start of a new you. A new life. You wont feel like it yet, but one day theres good odds on you looking back at the start of a new period of happiness in your life. And I hope you get to use this time to explore, find yourself and find what makes you happy.Thank you. Your words resonate with me so much. It was a long time coming and I've been mentally preparing just those things. Trying to turn it into a positive. Trying to better myself as a person and a parent which is what I need to do.
It wont feel like it straight away, just rest knowing it probably will one day. TBH i think your first goal should be cutting yourself some slack. Its gonna be a big change, so be kind to yourself. Happiness is also gonna be a huge boost to you as a person and a parent. Sleep in every so often, enjoy some junk food, go for a walk instead of the gym ect.
Thank you for the advice. I will try to do that and try to busy myself in hobbies I've let go by for various reasons
I am sorry. Know you can do this.
Thank you :-)
Shit sorry, sending you good vibes and my love. My Mum and Dad broke up when I was 13, after the same amount of time together (i was an accident lol), but my Dad is doing great! You will too, it'll take time, allow yourself to grieve, but things will feel better in time 💜💜
Thank you. I hope so. It might be just what we all need as well.