this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2023
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Autism
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Since realizing I'm autistic I have had a few big areas of skill regression that have really concerned me. Mainly sensory sensitivity leading to overstimulation, and just total exhaustion after any kind of social activity leading to a deep sense of need to be alone for a long time, like many many days in order to recover.
I think about this a lot about what it means because I used to mask everything so much that I could go all school semester passing as a normal human, just quirky. Then during break I would get sick and fall apart like my body was just waiting for permission to take a break.
Summers were always a time of much deeper depression and I think about it now as burnout. But I always pulled myself back together to perform the requisite behaviors.
Now I have given myself permission to give myself accommodations with regards to sensory overload and recovery after socializing, I recognize it better and understand more what I'm feeling. But that makes it seem like it's there * more *
For me I am wondering if/realizing it may be Frequency illusion, partly from reflecting more. I do agree that reading what other people experience and understanding/listening to what I and my body need makes it seem like it is worse/more for me.
I'm sure that's definitely part of it!