Selfhosted
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I am new to the fediverse, and could have misconfigured my docker image. But, I have de-sync issues the same way. What I started doing is browsing other Lemmy instances directly. Because my subscription does not seem to pull all content and all comments. It picks and chooses to sync about 4 or 5 post out of the ~50 a day from my 6ish different subscriptions.
I am not totally sure how the software talks back and forth between instances. But, it seems like a huge issue if instances don't have a feature to stay in sync.
Fwiw, federation is known to be relatively unreliable at the moment. https://github.com/LemmyNet/lemmy/issues/3101 is marked as closed, but it seems pretty clear to me that many of these behaviors persist in 0.18.3. There may well have been improvements, but we haven't yet achieved full resolution of these things.