My spouse and I have been doing some restructuring of our finances now that they have a new job as of a month ago. We've been doing an equitable split of our finances based on income which involved us taking inventory of everything we're paying every month.
This led to me really taking a closer look at all of my debt and that has me really bummed out. My best friends just bought a house and I'm in the hole for 84k US worth of student loans, credit cards, medical debt and a refinance loan I took for my previous credit card debt while I was getting my second degree.
A big motivator for going back for a second Bachelor's in Computer Science was knowing I could make more money and be able to pay off my debt sooner. However currently I'm getting paid a little less per year than I owe back. Also, my work life is having a negative impact on my mental health so I'm also looking for other jobs when I can.
It feels like I'm doing all I can but it's barely enough to make a dent in my debt each month. If I fall apart and lose my edge I'll get fired and then I'll end up accruing more debt. I'm also worried about being discriminated against by future employers as a trans person (being misgendered daily at my current job is a reality). But my stamina bar is super low and it's hard to take further action when I feel so powerless.
ah, comparison is the thief of joy! i've seen people buy houses even though they have massive student debt. i've also seen people buy houses they couldn't really afford. or, if you're like my partner, their parents paid for their school and gave them $10k to help with the down payment on their first house. life's a racket!
other folks have already offered suggestions on how to tackle your debt, but i'd also like to throw in that ynab (paid) changed how i think about money. splitwise (free) has also been an invaluable tool for living together with somebody and sharing costs equitably.