this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2023
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Caffeine must be one of, if not the, most used drug. It is vital to the operation of more or less every industry.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 241 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Pharma companies would already have a caffeine equivalent that would be only slightly different in structure so it would circumvent the law. It would then be sold at exorbitant prices and people would still pay even with the side effect of sometimes you eat someone's face. Of course they would then sell you something else to stop the side effects. You would also have the caffeine purists who would start their own speak easies and organized crime. People "abiding by the law" would start calling the purist, plants, since that is where caffeine is coming from, while the synthetic caffeine users would be called zombies for the obvious face eating reasons. This whole thing would cause even greater divides between already split countries leading to all out war. WWIII plants vs zombies.

[โ€“] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This comment was amazing to come across and I look forward to the film adaptation.

[โ€“] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Haha thanks. Wrote it drinking my morning cup of coffee.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I did a spit take when I read this

(of my coffee)

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

๐Ÿ”ฅโœ๐Ÿ”ฅ

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Well, pack it in folks, Lemmy has peaked. It's not getting better than this from here on.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Thanks, the punchline was worth it.