this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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Star Trek

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (10 children)

Lisp. All is Lisp.

Data's entire consciousness was written as an Emacs package.

Klingons program in Brainfuck. A Warrior's Language!

Vulcans exclusively use APL.

The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

Python is banned across the known galaxy. If your race is discovered using it, your planet is immediately bombarded until the entire crust is molten.

Cardassians use Haskell because they're evil.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Holy shit you win, lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

That's what the Pakled use. The best of them actually use QuickBasic to "make it go faster".

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

If Ferengi were to use a language that old, you'd think it would be the COmmon Business-Oriented Language.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Just to add - obviously all Ferengi programs run on a Blockchain, and are riddled with microtransactions.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'll just add that Data was previously built as a Vi plugin, but it was evil, so Doctor Soong disassembled it and shut it down. A lot of trouble could have been saved it Dr Soong had learned how to actually exit Vi.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Evil as in emacs evil-mode?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Are you sure? They might have learned something then. Or did they get stuck with a turtle-logic compiler instead?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

PHP was invented by a Pakled

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The reason has been purged, intentionally forgotten. Vulcans train their entire lives to take on a dangerous task: once every 66 years, the very best of the best view the reason why Python is banned. Once viewed, the Vulcan confirms that it is indeed a just and necessary action to ban the ancient language.

After the task is complete, the Vulcan goes utterly, irretrievably insane and dies mere hours later.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

The Q continum uses forth.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

@bloopernova Wouldn't the Vulcans prefer Prolog?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

What about php