The Onion

4421 readers

1657 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

860

Nation Could Have Sworn Russell Brand Was Already Convicted Sex Offender (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

38 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They published another piece https://www.theonion.com/men-s-rights-activists-defend-russell-brand-1850850435

“He waved his hands enough in that video for me to consider him innocent.” - Gregory Marsh, Animal Control Officer

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 year ago (3 children)

“I would stake my reputation on the fact that Russell Brand is a good man.”

Andrew Tate, Trafficker

Chefs kiss

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

“Look, I don’t know what to tell you, I love sexual assault and I hate women, and that’s just how it is.”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I recognized Andrew Tate and (obviously) Russell Brand in there. Were any of the others real people? I'm bettng there were probably at least a couple others I'm just too out of the loop to recognize.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Not that I noticed but who fking knows

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

My favorite was the last:

"His long hair and tight pants make him too feminine for me to view him with any empathy."