Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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If you only want online file storage and sync, you may want to try Seafile. It's a lot faster and has been rock solid since 10+ years for me. Not viable if you need some of the many nextcloud exentions though
I have the same issues with Nextcloud as OP, regardless of the hardware it's running on or what kind of optimizations I've done, but I've always hesitated to use Seafile because it doesn't keep the files in tact. They are chunked/encrypted or something else, which I'm sure helps performance, but I really value having my files just be regular files with Nextcloud, so if I ever want to take them out of Nextcloud without the help of the application, I can just do that.
I wish Seafile had an option to maintain the file integrity. If it did, I would definitely give it another try.
Yeah the files are stored in blocks. It helps deduplicating and for syncing partial files/change. If your concern is just with being able to copy the files away, there is seaf-fuse, which lets you mount it as a local filesystem: https://manual.seafile.com/extension/fuse/
I second this. If all you want is a Dropbox/Drive replacement Seafile is amazing.
Bonus: in addition to syncing files across devices you can also choose to access the shares as network drives (e.g. if some of your devices have limited storage.)