this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2023
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Years ago I was friends with a bunch of Red Bull girls. Their job was to pick up a bunch of cases of Red Bull in their Red Bull-themed mini cooper every morning and drive around all day handing it out for free at events and public parks etc. while being incredibly good-looking. They did this for about a week and then instead they would just dump the cases in the river and go home and get high all day. Then Red Bull started giving them a GPS-enabled PDA to track them and they came to me (programmer type) to see if I could fake the GPS data, which turned out to be really easy to do (the Red Bull app just wrote coordinates into a plain text file every 10 minutes). The ethics of doing this were questionable, but I do feel like I saved a bunch of people from ever trying that godawful death concoction - and as I mentioned, they were all incredibly good-looking.
Yeah, it's just sugary garbage. But man, imagine that being your whole job!
Sorry if this is the most interesting part of the story for me, but why the river?
I’m guessing based on their work ethic, they were not opening individual cans and pouring them in.
Though they could have recycled the cans and made an extra couple of bucks.
Or just sold them to begin with.
But why not just dump them all in a dumpster?
All I can say is that this was Louisiana, where people generally find it easier and preferable to dump trash in the wild.