this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 139 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

First time skiing, friend was desperate to get someone to go so I went. Paid for everything like the meme says except the lessons. "I can teach you! Let's take this lift up to that ridgeline". I don't know any better so up we go. Get there and it's pretty high, oxygen is thin and a blizzard moved in. "Ok, ready?" He says. "What do I do?" I ask. "Just crouch down and twist back and forth to slow yourself. Here we go!" He replied and then off he went.

It started out fine. I'm upright, the snow is powdery so it is helping to slow me down and I kinda got the twisting movement right, for the first 50 feet. Then the ground dropped beneath me and suddenly I'm cruising at what feels like mach speed. There is no twisting anymore, just barrel rolls. I finally stop and my arm is no longer in the socket. I just lay there wondering if I had died and hell really was frozen over. Then a ski guide came up, asked me if I was ok. "Uuuuughhh" I answered him. He then asked me if I could make it down on my own which I answered with a stare of both death and fear. Another dude arrived with a sled. By that time I had regained the ability to talk and popped my arm back in place. At the bottom they offered to call an ambulance but I was largely ok, got the direction to the ski lodge bar instead.

10 hours later my friend finds me. "There you are! I was wondering where you went!" This is a story of the first and last time I went skiing.

[–] [email protected] 136 points 1 year ago (1 children)

you just had an exceptional douche for a friend

[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Definitely. He ended up making his wealth buying property and raising the rent. We don't talk anymore but those types of people seem to fit a mold.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago

I can't fathom bringing someone to something, losing track of them almost immediately, and not halting everything to find them, let alone doing whatever I want for ten fucking hours

But that's exactly the kind of response I'd expect from a land~~lord~~leech.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago (3 children)

“Just crouch down and twist back and forth to slow yourself.

Oof worst advice ever e

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

"This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wtf does that even mean

Twist what?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Your arm out of its socket. Didn't you read?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

The knees most likely, in the end at least.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

My wife's uncle took her to a black diamond route her very first time on the mountain and abandoned her, just like your friend. She's not really willing to try skiing again because of the trauma of that experience.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

"No friends on a powder day."