ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

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Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

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Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
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Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

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I don't feel rewarded for anything "good" I do (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

38 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hi everyone.

When I try to follow a schedule to eat, clean my room and do my homework, it feels good at the beginning, but as time goes on, it just doesn't feel good anymore.

I'm not even sure if I even feel trully happy about doing all of my responsibilities.

It doesn't feel as if a burden has been lifted of my shoulder.

It doesn't feel as if I were "refreshed" or more energetic after I do all of these.

I started slowly like my therapist recommended: I did a schedule to eat 3 times a day. It started rocky but then I manage to do it... but only for a while. Eating just didn't feel good either.

Every single time I finally clean my room, I don't feel any good: it just feels as though I wasted time because I don't feel any better.

Doing math homework is fun, philosophy to, but I don't like any of the other subjects I actually need to do homework for.

I know it might seem childish to only do things that feel good but I hate not being able to feel anything at all, especially when I do things that are supposed to help me but don't make me feel anybetter afterwards.

Has someone here went through anything similar? What do you do then, if so?

Edit: I have read all of your replies so far, but I don't know how to respond properly to them. All I can think of is to say thank you! I will try to change things (although slowly) today using your tips.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

You don't do the necessary work because it feels good. You do the necessary work because it will pay you back in the future (you do your laundry today so that you can wear clean clothes tomorrow).

You do the things that feel good as a self-reward after doing the necessary work.

I'm not even sure if I even feel trully happy about doing all of my responsibilities.

It doesn't feel as if a burden has been lifted of my shoulder.

It doesn't feel as if I were "refreshed" or more energetic after I do all of these.

I think the expectation that it should feel good immediately is actually hurting you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's great except a lot of people actually do enjoy cleaning and they look down on those of us who don't.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is kind of missing the point... doing the laundry was just one example of a task that many don't find immediately rewarding in an emotional sense.

Who cares what other people look down on? You should have your own standards that you try to meet.

The race is long, and in the end it's only with yourself.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

It just sucks is all.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Ok, I think I understand. I just sorta assumed that's how it worked.

Thank you!