this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2024
56 points (95.2% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26701 readers
1190 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics.


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

So normally people like me get extremely happy if you say something like ‘nice shirt’, however it got me wondering about people who receive compliments and gifts all the time, what makes y’all happy? I presume it gets kinda annoying after some time?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (8 children)

Try giving those compliments.

It's not what you're asking about but most people want that kind of attention sometimes.

I'm a middle-aged straight dude. I compliment other guys beards, hats, jackets, whatever, because we NEVER get compliments.

And it's common to want or need feel special and noticed now and again.

It's the stuff you remember - one guy in a work meeting saying 'Damn that was fast' when I came up with a good comeback, or the guy at the convenience store who went nuts when he heard my voice and realized I was the guy who had the big bushy beard (that I'd shaved the night before as a Halloween 'costume'.)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (5 children)

Tbh I am kinda on the fence on this particular subject, like some sort of a compliment when I am a bit down would be nice, but the feeling of being complimented once every two/three years is so absolutely ethereal to me that I don’t wanna let it go, it’s a different kind of happiness which I don’t think I would get if I started getting compliments more regularly

But you know that is just my opinion

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

I understand this concern. It has been a strange shift but honestly it’s wonderful. That ethereal feeling doesn’t necessarily go away but it does change a bit.

As you get better at giving compliments and lifting people up you will draw similar people to you and teach people around you to speak to you in a similar way. There’s a feedback loop that raises that ethereal feeling to something more familiar but no less effecting.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)