Relationship Advice
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The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.
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Related communities:
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Adulting: [email protected]
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No Stupid Questions: [email protected]
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Mental Health [email protected]
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Wait… Rush is right wing? Like… the prog rock band? I never knew their music was super political to begin with.
Edit: it wasn’t the rock band. It was something worse :c
Anyway! As a guy who has seen some friends fall down that rabbit hole, unfortunately you can’t reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into. A lot of the time those extreme and radical positions are a reaction to a skewed perception of reality. Perhaps he feels his wife wronged him and is projecting that pain onto other people (women in this case), or perhaps the reason his wife divorced him is because he’s so committed to his misogynist beliefs, he would rather let his marriage go down the drain.
In any case, he probably feels the need to always reaffirm his worldview because the alternative (that he can improve as a person and that his personal shortcomings can only be blamed on himself) is probably too painful to face.
Very frequently, these people probably need to build a safety net, a support group, and go to therapy, but they’re so off the deep end, it’s too hard to take any of those steps, so it becomes a vicious circle of blaming others because they’re alone, and staying alone because they always blame others.
The best thing that can happen to any of these people is an experience that fundamentally shakes their reality. Getting into Buddhism, or moving to a different country, or going back to college, basically anything that changes their status quo, because their status quo has been inherently built and curated around their own beliefs and worldview. They can’t leave it now.
If you want to help him, you have to find a way to disrupt his status quo and perhaps hope that leads him down a more positive path, but unfortunately, once someone has started buying into heavy incel theory, they feel more comfortable staying there than looking beyond their own noses. I’m not sure you could do much for him. I’m sure deep inside he knows blaming women for his own faults is stupid, but he also refuses to blame himself, so… someone like that won’t be likely to improve. Ever.
Not sure if you're joking but she probably means Rush Limbaugh, famous right-wing AM Radio dude who died recently. His words echo on and he continues to be a far-right wing icon.
I wasn’t joking, I legitimately had never heard that name in my life. And I’m thinking I’m lucky for it.
You were definitely lucky. I used to have to listen to his show when visiting a printer my work dealt with on a regular basis and it was vile.
Same, I like Rush too much to chuck out all my albums.
A business trip down south is where I first heard the term "militant gay agenda" unironically come from Rush's mouth
This is quite excellent. Well said. I'd like to add that they really don't like being looked down on, which complicates things when they're being so stupid.
God I wish I’d never heard of Rush Limbaugh. Grew up with his trash 🤢
Oof. Thanks for taking the time to write this out—it’s legitimately helped me see the situation more clearly. He does have 2 young kids, so that makes the situation a bit more complicated than accepting that I can’t do anything and moving forward, but maybe I should focus more on the kids directly. They live with their mom most of the time.