this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
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So, I was given some advice for situations like this that changed my life.
The first thing that comes to mind in these moments isn't what matters. It's what a life time of indoctrinated racism/classism/sexism etc looks like. The thing that comes to mind here isn't necessarily what you think, it's what you've been taught to think,
What matters is what you do next, after the thought has popped in to your mind.
I was raised in a very racist environment, and I struggled with feeling guilt every time some racist thought I'd been trained with popped in to my head, because that's not the person I want to be. Reframing it like this allowed me to stop getting hung up on the guilt part, and work on the part that actually means something
One time I was walking through a city centre after midnight after drinks with friends - who told me to get a taxi because it's so dangerous. I got to a pedestrianised street and there at the orher end was a group of tough-looking POC in hoodies. Uh oh. There seemed to be an argument in progress. Uh oh. I carried on though, to avoid a long detour. As I got nearer I caught the drift of the argument. "We're only telling you this because we love you, mate." Muffled sobbing. "Yeah, we worry about you! We want you to be happy!" It was teens in the midst of a full-on psychodrama, actually quite wholesome. I carried on home, berating myself for racial profiling. For a non-event it had quite a profound effect on my thinking.
And these are the kinds of interactions that people have in cities that terrify conservatives. Not the situation you described (although they'd be scared of that too), but the lesson you took away from it.
Just being around people that look, sound, behave, have customs, etc., different than you changes the way you view the world in fundamental ways. You may not even realize it is happening.
And most importantly, it makes everyone less afraid of one another. And this is how conservatives lose their power.
Well what I do next is keep them in my line of sight and avoid them. I’m not suspicious of their race, I’m suspicious of their clothes. If they happen to be a POC though, there is more guilt involved.
I’m not only suspicious of hoodies. I understand where you’re coming from but I’m not suspicious of somebody in a hoodie because of race. It’s because I’ve seen a lot of people committing crimes in them. I’m also suspicious of people in black caps and sunglasses, but that’s not called racism/classism/sexism because celebrities wear that all the time.