i'm pushing 40 and have only recently been given an informal diagnosis (seeking out a formal diagnosis currently) from my therapist of ADHD, so it's all new to me and changing the way i look at my behaviors and patterns. i've been thinking about this distinction between executive dysfunction and depression quite a bit lately and wanted to bring it to other folks who have a better grasp on how their ADHD impacts them and see if this resonates or if i'm maybe not hitting the mark.
i have two different things that i've always identified as 'depression', one that includes the sads, and one that doesn't but has the same low energy and inability to get anything done without external pressure to move me forward. the impact is very, very similar, but the feeling is very different. with the one that includes being sad, it's that sadness that's the driving force behind my inability to move. for the one that doesn't, it's just.... i don't know how to describe it, it's just an inability to get myself to take action.
i'm in the middle of an episode of the second one now. i find myself listless, bored but can't get myself to do anything about it, hungry but nothing sounds good when i think about the steps it takes to get it, and it's when my memory is the worst and i most often find myself misplacing things, unable to focus, or doing that thing that Hal does in that one Malcom in the Middle cold open when he goes to replace a lightbulb but is working on the car when Lois gets home. this doesn't feel like a good description, but that's how i feel about literally everything i do or talk about when i'm feeling like this, so i hope it's coming across ok.
does this sound like there's a differentiation between the two to ya'll? anyone feel similarly?
One thing I'd advise looking into would be Autism as well.
I did/do experience a lot of what you are describing, and have been misdiagnosed with a few things, turns out I'm autistic. It presents very much like inattentive ADHD in me, so I was pursuing th ADHD diagnosis for a long time.
It took me a couple years to figure it out, but yeah, I'm autistic.
This video helped me quite a bit in understanding the difference.
I'm not saying you have Autism, but it's worth considering!
Thank you for sharing that video. I watched it, and I am definitely ADHD. Although there are times when some of the autism characteristics do resonate.
For example, there's one time when I had a a teacher explaining matrixes and I raised my hand and asked him why we are learning this (which caused considerable snickering on class, and obvious embarrassment for the teacher).
I generally do need to understand why we're learning something in order to have enough interest to focus on it.
However I don't think that's autism, as I feel that it is difficult for anybody to learn something if they don't even understand how it is to be used.
one thing that is sticking out to me is when he talks about ADHD seeing a task and knowing they need to do it but can't, followed by folks on the spectrum being unsure what to do... and i really identify with both in various situations.
at work, inferring what people need is damn near impossible for me and i'm constantly amazed by my boss who will be in the same meeting as me coming out with 13 action items when i don't catch any at all.
at home, when i have big tasks, like how my garden needs to be weeded, i see it and i can't get myself to do it. i had a 6 week stretch where i watched my backyard get overgrown and couldn't get myself to mow it at all. the same happens with dishes and tidying of taking what's in the dryer out and putting it away.
and these things seem to ebb and flow where sometimes i'll walk into a room and know exactly what the vibe is and other times i'll just be lost and numb to how others are feeling.
You can have both, colloquially known as AuDHD.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=qNgLrPkp2y4&feature=share7
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.
The video doesn't load for me on mobile. Anyone else having problems?
It loaded on mobile for me. Maybe try again or copy the link and open it in a new browser window.
Thanks, it works now, apparently I need to wait half a minute after I click play. Maybe my AdBlock (firefox mobile) is messing something up.
huh. i've been extremely hesitant to go down that route, but you spotting it is making me think about talking to my psych about it. you're the second person this month to mention it. i appreciate your comment.