this post was submitted on 13 May 2024
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Unpopular Opinion

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(Content warning, discussions of SA and misogyny, mods I might mention politics a bit but I hope this can be taken outside the context of politics and understood as a discussion of basic human decency)

We all know how awful Reddit was when a user mentioned their gender. Immediate harassment, DMs, etc. It's probably improved over the years? But still awful.

Until recently, Lemmy was the most progressive and supportive of basic human dignity of communities I had ever followed. I have always known this was a majority male platform, but I have been relatively pleased to see that positive expressions of masculinity have won out.

All of that changed with the recent "bear vs man" debacle. I saw women get shouted down just for expressing their stories of being sexually abused, repeatedly harassed, dogpiled, and brigaded with downvotes. Some of them held their ground, for which I am proud of them, but others I saw driven to delete their entire accounts, presumably not to return.

And I get it. The bear thing is controversial; we can all agree on this. But that should never have resulted in this level of toxicity!

I am hoping by making this post I can kind of bring awareness to this weakness, so that we can learn and grow as a community. We need to hold one another accountable for this, or the gender gap on this site is just going to get worse.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I've not even heard of this issue you are talking about. Maybe it's not representative of the Lemmy experience as a whole? Besides, most social media postings seem fake as hell. Why put any emphasis on what people have to say. I think walking away is probably the healthiest thing you can do. No one is going to fix this place or any place for that matter.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

it may not be representative of the whole, but it is certainly representative of underlying failures of moderation policy, as @breadsmasher said.

you are encouraging me to just be quiet about people being harrassed when moderation failure is a fixable problem. i can’t in good conscience do that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I definitely do not want to quiet anyone. Other than maybe myself from time to time (you know, before I've said it; maybe I'm too late this time, maybe not). I just don't see how you fix this ultimately. But, since I don't know the specific harassment you are referring to, I'll simply refer to your comments. I trust what you've said. I don't want you to hide what you want to say, but I also want to say how I feel about it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

I appreciate it.