this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023

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141

Would it make sense for a person in a "privileged class" to move from a red state? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

89 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Trying to gauge if I'm going crazy or a little too much "online."

I currently live in Texas, and moving has been on my mind a lot lately as the Republican party and Texas itself seems to be slowly moving toward fascism. I don't know when the slide toward fascism will stop, and how much more authoritarian the state will get. I do not feel very good about my tax dollars going to support this state.

I am a middle-aged cishet white man; middle to upper middle class software engineer. I have leftist opinions (libsoc/ansoc), but I'm not an activist (I am very introverted, probably a little bit on the autism spectrum, and pretty much a hermit right now). I do seldom indulge in marijuana consumption, which is illegal here.

I really don't have much tying me down here. I have no close friends, no family in the state, and no current romantic partners. Last year, I moved within the state for a job, but the company was bought out, and everyone was layed off. I have very high autonomy at my current job, and could probably work fully remote if I wanted. Moving would be expensive (I am in an upside-down mortgage), but I have enough savings to take the hit.

I am personally feeling very isolated here (Texas suburb), at this point in my life, and am thinking about moving into some sort of intentional community (eco-village, cohousing, or land trust; not a commune) in a blue state (or even in Canada if I could pull that off).

Also, the weather in the last 2 years has been absolutely oppressive, and I have a hard time keeping anything alive in my veggie garden :)

Am I being over dramatic? Should I just stick it out here, and try to rebuild my life in a state that doesn't align with my beliefs?

Also, I've heard arguments that libs should stay or even move to red states, but I'm not convinced. The state rules with an iron fist, and pre-empts anything progressive Texas cities try to do. And the district I live in is already pretty solidly blue. Not to mention, red states put families that contain females or lbgt people in danger.

(page 2) 41 comments

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Hey you sound just like me. If your going to move, perhaps somewhere like PA? It's got the benefit of being a battleground state, and there's more than enough rural areas, even relatively close to the cities, where you can continue your hermitage. I'm doing something similar (:

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

OP, you mentioned that you are unattached but are you looking for a romantic relationship in your future? You also don't mention your sexual orientation. Are there enough potential partners for you (similar POV, politics, culture, hobbies, curiosity about the world, etc.) that a relationship would be harmonious? If you do establish a relationship where you are and maybe decide to raise kids there, how do you feel about the education they would receive, the ideas and beliefs they will be exposed to? What is your partner needs an abortion or your kids are LGBTQ+? Just trying to see if you are planning to be solo indefinitely/permanently - potentially creating a family will add more variables to your calculations.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I did, and multiple friends are either actively working on doing the same or have expressed interest but have constraints (e.g. an autistic child who found a school / therapist they like, or non-ASD kids in hard age ranges to move).

Contributing to a pro-birth, anti-democracy, anti-reasonable-gun-control, transphobic economy in a hot humid climate that’s getting worse made no sense.

Texas literally banned ensuring workers get 10 minute water breaks every four hours. They banned cities voting to protect their own trees. Local democracies try to make things better and Texas says no. All the while, Texas refuses to employ a fair taxation strategy for less-urban areas, so blue cities have to fund the red counties’ school districts. Anybody not actively fighting to improve the political situation there should leave.

I haven’t missed the weather at all.

You’re underwater on a mortgage - this may not be catastrophic if you have a COVID interest rate and the place is rentable. Is that an option?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

There is no “should” here. You feel unhappy with current arrangements and would not mind paying expenses to have better life elsewhere, sure, go ahead. It is your life, you do not owe to anyone, live your life. Stay, or leave, It is still (mostly) free country.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Things are going to change fairly soon. That's why the GOP is so frantic about getting voter suppression and their agenda in place before the demographics change. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4FqqVzH8-0&t=22s

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

You can't be a useful protestor/advocator/supporter of any movement if you don't address your mental health and well being first. It's a bit more nuanced than do what makes you happiest, but more like do what makes you happiest and can still sleep well at night I guess.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think you would benefit most by moving abroad. Staying in one country your whole life is very one-dimensional. If you move to another country, esp. overseas, you will look back on your current boredom as wasting your life and you will regret not having done it sooner. Go for just one year. You can always return if you don’t like it. You might be someone who says “I went for 1 year, but stayed 5”.

But first move to a purple swing state like GA or PA for just a month or two, then move your stuff into mini storage. Two reasons: you get to experience a different part of the US, briefly, and you can register to vote in a place where your future votes will count the most. Because that’s the state you will vote in while abroad. OTOH, isn’t Texas on the edge of being a swing state? It’s probably not a bad place to vote from.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Bear in mind - software salaries are MUCH less outside of the US

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I would say mostly true.

I moved to a region where my lifestyle (accounting for wages, tax, cost of living) was effectively cut in half. Yet it was still the right move. My initial thinking was I will live anywhere for a year to get a different experience - I can always bounce back if I don’t like it.. if the pay reduction bothered me. I ended up staying ~10 years.

A big factor is where you are in life. Fresh out of university, it’s important to gain ground right away and perhaps get the house paid for, or nearly so. But once you’re a senior dev and at a point of calling yourself “privileged class" with a decent sized 401k built up (which is great to convert to a Roth while abroad), you’re only cheating yourself out of life experiences by continuing to chase the money. Some research concluded around ~10 yrs ago that people’s overall happiness improves as income increases up until the $55k/year mark. Beyond that, income doesn’t matter much. Of course that would be a little higher now with inflation but I guess the OP has cleared that figure.

I think it was around 15 years ago I started researching typical incomes around the world and I noticed that Japan paid SWEs double the US average. Cost of living was about 50% higher in Japan but it still worked out that a US→Japan move would have been a lifestyle upgrade. So there are some rare exceptions.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

We are moving out of our red state by the end of the year. I do have a dog in this race. I'm a mother to a daughter. We only waited because of opportunity, but we've been planning it since RvW.

I will always encourage people to move out of red states if they can, especially Texas. Find a place that makes you happy.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Hey you've clearly been thinking a lot about this and where you want to take your life. It will take effort either way, whether you choose to build your life there or elsewhere, so feel the freedom to try something else. If you're undecided, maybe think about what you would regret the least. I've also thought making a quick pros and cons list for myself helps. Best of luck to you

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