I once shit in a porta-john at fort irwin, it was 109 outside, around noon, and a week's worth of MREs were knocking at my back door. We were doing advance-party sight survey for a signal shot and goddamn I knew this shit was coming so I drove all over looking for an actual shitter. Opened the door, a cloud of flies hit me in the face, I threw my weapon at my squad leader and had the absolute worst shit of my life.
I should have shit out in the weeds. Damn near had a heat stroke and sensory overload from the absolute horror atmosphere of methane and heat. Every pore on my body instantly began sweating in overdrive. I could only think: please, please, I don't want to die this way. Please.