transgender

if you don’t want to share your pronouns, unsure or use name are both fine.

Seconding this, putting something there really isn't a big ask, especially if you're engaging with people in a way you want to be constructive.

If they have a practical concern with this they can say something like (use name) (unsure) (any) after their username. Just to verify, are you trans yourself? This is common practice in basically every trans space.

Yes, and that is WHY I’m so vocal about it, because I have experience with environments where the choice really was to misgender myself or to risk looking like a biggot. It sucked and that

Requiring people to state their pronouns is unironically a transphobic policy!

No, it’s not.

It forces trans people who are early in their transition and eggs to pick between two really bad options. That makes it functionally (not intentionally) transphobic.

closeted trans people who have an identifiable account and similar groups now have to misgender themselves, which is a much more horrific thing than getting misgendered by someone else.

I would suggest they create a new account for exploring these feelings in trans spaces, then. Its more secure to do that anyways.

A big point of something like Lemmy is that you don’t need separate accounts in all the communities that you are in and trans communities should put the bar low for people who are looking to explore things. It may not always be the safest thing to do, but reality is messy and people who are just kinda uncomfortable with what they have may still be far away from understanding.

He/him is the assumed choice in most internet spaces which misgenders a wide swathe of trans people, of course I would prefer it to be they/them, as its better if you don’t know the person’s pronouns. The reality though is we need to implement these things in steps so people can properly understand why its important to use they/them when you don’t know someone’s gender. I still get regularly misgendered with she/her in my name, these people that purposefully misgender must be removed from this space to make it safer, and by having more people with pronouns in username, it will make that job easier.

Nobody says you can’t have your pronouns in your username if you want them too, but forcing other people to do the same is really reaching into other people’s personal zone to an extend that I do consider inappropriate.

what is the difference between putting (unsure) or (any) and just not having them? you would still basically have to ask or assume you picked the right one.

on a side note, making "requirements" to be trans is a slippery slope, and nobody should have to prove, or our themselves, just by existing and participating in the world.

and why should it matter if I know I'm interacting with a trans person? why can't we all just treat each other with respect, and if we want to find out more about each other individually we can just ask?

and while your solution of "just make another account" could work for some it simply won't work for all

Aro/ace are valid and are LGBTIA+. What I mean is, "ally" implies straight, and I'm not.

Gender is a spectrum, and I consider myself cis, even if there are others more cis than me. Most of my troubles with gender come from me feeling society is at fault for treating me differently because of my sex. I think most educated women express such opinions, and that doesn't make us enbies.

I know I have it in my bio, because I am in agreement with it since before you made it a rule.

Your own headline says that not all instances have this as an option. That makes it unenforceable for those instances. It is also unenforceable for anyone wandering in from a main page, because they won't be reading this rule before posting. And then sure you can delete their post I guess but what if it wasn't transphobic?

And if you don't know Bill Maher, good. Just know that he is a ghoul and loves to say 'new rule' and then spout the worst take you have heard in your life on a weekly basis.

Display names can, by default at least (on hexbear its 80 I think), be at most 24 chars long