this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2024
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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I don't know if you cropped it, but please always include the date.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago

It wasn't my croppage, but I've fixed it, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 72 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Well sure when you put it all together like that it sounds weird, but when Fox News describes it it sounds so much better.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, funny how that works isn't it? But it's not just Fox "News". All the mainstream media are doing their best to cover up his obvious mental health issues.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Because the for-profit media gets more money from pretending there are two candidates for president that are both options to lead the country, instead of one option and grampa Hitler ranting about minorities.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

That's the common narrative. But in reality, they're controlled by billionaires who want Trump to win.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

At this point, it's like Nostradamus: utterly deranged word-salad if you read it from end to end. But let some intermediate scry the bones of these texts and extract meaning for you, and the true word of great leader becomes clear.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This is an Aristocats joke, right?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Nope, 1000% accurate.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (3 children)

the parrot Iago THE ARISTOCRATS

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

SO THE SULTAN STAHHTS FUCKIN' JASMINE, AND JASMINE IS SUCKIN' ON RAJAH, AND RAJAH IS GETTIN' FUCKED BY ABU, AND ABU IS JOYYKIN' OFF ALADDIN, AND ALADDIN IS RUBBIN' THE LAMP, AND THE LAMP IS SHITTIN' OUT THE GENIE, AND THE GENIE IS LICKIN' ON THE MAGIC CAHHPET, THE MAGIC CAHHPET IS ROLLED UP AROUND JAFAR'S LONG, CURLY COCK.. AND JAFAR IS SHOVIN' HIS STAFF UP THE ASS OF THE SULTAN.. AND --

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Bravo this got me laughing way too hard. The spelling of "JOYYKIN'" especially sold the whole effect

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Disney taking notes before they acquire PornHub

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Uncle Jesse’s brother-in-law THE ARISTOCRATS

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

If you want to be sure to wake up in the morning, set this as your alarm.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I tried listening but without context, that was just disgusting af

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

That's literally the point of the joke. Wiki link

"The Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying, off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to the vaudeville era.[1] It relates the story of a family trying to get an agent to book their stage act, which is remarkably vulgar and offensive. The punch line reveals that they incongruously bill themselves as "The Aristocrats".[2]

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago

Totally fit for the job!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That he said it?

Yes.

Is what he said true?

No.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In the interest of being bulletproof with our own fact checking, what happened with Colorado's governor?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Nothing, as far as I can tell.

I think he's bringing up the idea of running Colorado's openly gay governor out of his own state. That's in line with the rest of the magical thinking from the tweet. That said, who knows for sure? I've already put three times as many words and ten times as much thought into this interpretation than went into the original fragment.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

The part about this being the last election is true. If he gets elected again.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

It's always been the sad kind of funny how Trump won't drink as a result of witnessing the decline and death his brother endured as a result of alcohol, but the moment he can make a buck from it he pitches Trump wine, Trump vodka, and now Hulkamania's beer like it's the greatest thing since taco bowls on Cinco de Mayo

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah but Kamala Harris is a woman so Americans are going to have a hard time with this.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

No we aren’t. Of course the senile old man beats a woman who speaks confidently

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This makes it look like he's going to get up tomorrow and goober all over the place but I doubt that will happen.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

All bets are off for that one. The only thing guaranteed is that it'll be a shitshow.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What's this about the CO governor? That seems pretty random.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jared Polis is openly gay. That's the best I've got at understanding what Cheeto Benito is trying to imply.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's also some stuff about Venezuelan gangs and woke Colorado, I think.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I don't know, I lived in Colorado for a few years and it just felt like any other state to me. Denver was just like any another city, too. But I guess I'm applying too much common sense to the situation.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What's this about the co gov? Outoftheloop

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Dude, same.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The people steering him are just as bad or worse as they are able to create coherent sentences and clear ideas but they are all just confirmation that they are not what the nation needs