Are we absolutely sure, someone in German military command didn't pull out a file labeled "Unerwartethochwassersturmkriegangriffplan" from a dusty old cabinet somewhere, in anticipation of this natural disaster?
NonCredibleDefense
A community for your defence shitposting needs
Rules
1. Be nice
Do not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.
2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes
If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.
3. Content must be relevant
Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.
4. No racism / hatespeech
No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.
5. No politics
We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.
6. No seriousposting
We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.
7. No classified material
Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.
8. Source artwork
If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.
9. No low-effort posts
No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.
10. Don't get us banned
No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.
11. No misinformation
NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.
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Banner made by u/Fertility18
Dear god, no, just imagine the bureaucracy. First you have to contact the Bundesamt für Soldatenspontangrenzüberschreitung for a Überraschungshochwasservortäuschungsmanöverbewegungskriegsplanerlaubnisantragsvorlage.
We germans are sure to return criminal and illegal floods on our border to the original country! No water from poland here, the water arrived there first and thus has to stay there!
We all know Germans reject all water that doesn't have its papers properly filled out and signed in triplicate.
My troops are just passing through.
Just so long as there are no Russians coming in the other side this time...
The name Donald Tusk sounds like a satire between Donald Trump and Elon Musk
Liar and thief, so fits. But dude stole enough (and then, prolly, earned second that through legitimate means) that he's currently hella better choice than either of scums above.
Oh yeah, it’s all coming together
Based warning, I like this Tusk more and more. Everything from his name to his hoodie says, I just want to stand on the beach and drink a cold beer.
he's in hoodie because he visited the flooded region today. as of surname, it might be related to germanic root tysk- like how you have "tyskland" in danish meaning "germany" (he's kashubian, and that region had strong german and scandi influences). donald tusk is the face of boring moderates™ that were main opponents of previous batshit insane conservative government, and that particular rumor mill has a significant conservative slant
Thanks for the sauce!