this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 231 points 1 month ago

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

[–] [email protected] 178 points 1 month ago (3 children)

$50 that Trump rages about this in the next 24 hours thinking Biden is still running.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 month ago

Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago
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[–] [email protected] 143 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

I love it.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Finally someone said it. I'm tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

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[–] [email protected] 142 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

They really aren't pulling their punches!

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[–] [email protected] 119 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

There's some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago (1 children)

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

It took me like 15 😭

[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 month ago

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago

I'm glad Americans are finally waking up. Biden may not be perfect, but he is the only candidate who can beat Trump. I'll be doing my part by voting for him as many times as possible this November!

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in. 

We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm not even American but I've already voted for Joe Biden several times. Just wrote the name down on pieces of paper and mailed them off. Adressed them to Joe Biden too, so that shit counts double. Put some extra stamps on them, and that's exponential growth in the number of times I voted for him. I'm practically a swing state of my own, the way I'm swinging my massive votes around.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Im writting in Joe Biden this november biden-leftist

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you forget to ask someone? hillary-assassin

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

But a vote for Joe Biden is a vote for Trump!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Based, thank you for your vote

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm voting Netscape Navigator. Lesser evil.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 72 points 1 month ago (5 children)

You might know him for his academic papers.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago

Among other works

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

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