this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 108 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

You're forgetting the part where on her deathbed, she doesn't think about her husband she spent decades with, or her children, or her family at all. She thinks about a random homeless guy she fucked as a rebellious teen.

Absolute cinema.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

My friend convinced a 45 yr old pharmacist to divorce her husband and leave her family. He dumped her right after.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

At least she throws a priceless diamond necklace into the sea to honour all the poor people that died

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Technically, he froze to death.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 weeks ago (22 children)

Technical there was room for two on that door

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago

Everyone is all "actually it would be impossible" like this bitch did math before telling the guy to go fuck himself.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

Only if they both had the knowledge and frame of mind to engi her flotation devices from the life vest rose was wearing. Otherwise the door would have sunk enough for them to freeze to death before rescue came. Provides they knew rescue was coming after a certain time.

Considering one was a socialite, and the other a freelance artist, and both had just almost been killed multiple times... no, I don't think they would have had the foresight to come up with the exact scenario that would have saved them both.

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 2 weeks ago

Titanic was the story of a manic pixie dream boy fixing a rich woman with his penis.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I also wasted an entire ship’s manhours and fuel to look for something I had in my pocket all along.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

If you watch Titanic in reverse it's about a sad lady floating on a door who idly fishes a cute boy out of the ocean and brings him onto a big fancy steamship that has conveniently sprouted up over by an iceberg, where they have steamy no-strings vacation sex until they split up because they each find new boyfriends on the ship they'd rather go to Europe with.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

A much better movie!

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I saw that movie with my dad, who spent years reading about the Titanic because he took an interest in it for some reason.

I'm not sure which one of us hated that movie more.

I'm glad that people are looking back on it these days and realizing it was just not a good movie.

If you want to see a good Titanic movie, check out A Night to Remember, made in the UK in 1958. Sure, it won't have the dazzling special effects. It also doesn't have a stupid as fuck plot.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't understand how either of you would be upset watching the movie. The rich girl slept with a homeless guy, and then she let him drown.

It's movie magic

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That, and I have a memory of my father saying something along the lines of, "why were we supposed to care about those two fictional people when there were real people on the Titanic?" I do not disagree.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The entire movie was a build up to the guy hitting the propellers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I wonder if you could edit Jack and Rose out of the movie and make it good?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

That's an interesting idea. I'd like to know the result, too.

Gotta keep all of Billy Zanes scenes though.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

If you want to see a good Titanic movie, check out A Night to Remember, made in the UK in 1958. Sure, it won’t have the dazzling special effects. It also doesn’t have a stupid as fuck plot.

Did it have a dude bouncing off a propeller while emitting the Wilhelm Scream? I didn't think so.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

If you take out the Jack/Rose love story and add some of the Californian's scenes and a bit in the wireless room, you could edit Cameron's Titanic down to a pretty good remake of A Night to Remember. He was clearly influenced by it, some scenes are lifted straight from the ANtR narrative even though they are known to be inaccurate (Andrews in the first class smoking room, Smith on the bridge as the ship goes down come to mind).

I like the Cameron Titanic, actually. The love story notwithstanding, it's well worth watching for his attention to detail. The reconstruction of the ship was meticulous, and with a few notable exceptions for dramatic license, the account of the sinking is quite accurate (for the information we had at the time - we now know the breakup is incorrect, but at the time it was the best theory) and contains quite a few easter eggs for Titanic nerds. (like me)

That said... I love A Night to Remember and watch it every year on the anniversary of the sinking. The book is well worth reading, too. Walter Lord assembled his narrative based on correspondence with as many survivors as he could reach - often verbatim as they told it, and it's really a riveting read.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Being a huge nerd on certain topics tend to ruin the fun of watching movies.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (36 children)

True, but I was not a nerd on the topic. I just thought it was stupid to shoehorn a boring forbidden love subplot into a movie about the most famous fucking ship sinking of all time as if that alone wasn't dramatic enough.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The titanic is far better as an engineering failure story.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

I prefer it as a "lol, as if" hubris from someone that read "The wreck of the Titan, or: Futility"

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I mean, if I was gonna drown, I wouldn't mind hooking up beforehand. Just saying.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago

So romantic!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

The movie Titanic by James Cameron. It was very highly regarded, but the plot is a woman in her deathbed recounting how she is spending her final moments thinking about a random homeless dude she fucked as a teen and then let drown, instead of her children or husband or...literally anything else.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Did we watch the same movie? He tries to get on but it can't hold both of them. That happens in the movie.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

If Jack had survived, they would never have worked anyways. You can't just pick up a homeless guy and make him your husband in high society, and she never would have survived being poor with him. They would have just ended up fat and old together, living in a shitty tenement building, eating boiled cabbages and yelling at each other while their 20 kids run around the ones bedroom apartment

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

They came from a time where they weren't as likely to end up fat.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Genuinely thought this was going to be a political meme about Jill Stein until I clicked

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