this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
234 points (95.0% liked)

Funny

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Refuse if she offers a handjob

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago

Clearly, I'd put on my robe and wizard hat.

[–] [email protected] 66 points 2 days ago

Seems like a good knight out.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Naughty jokes aside, I would love that, laugh my ass off, and look forward to an amazing date.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago

Somebody call the locksmith!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 days ago

I put on my robe and wizard hat. If the date goes well, maybe I'll show her my wand of magic missile.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Going on a quest? Fuck yeah

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Nope. Going ice skating and then out for sushi.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

Close enough.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Wearing a full suit of armor, accomplishing either IS quite the quest 😄

[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I challenge her to a duel. If I win, I gain her hand in marriage. If she wins... I suppose I would have to give her my hand in marriage.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Win - Win sort of plan you have.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

I see what you did there

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Break out some coconuts and become her faithful steed.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

He have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join his court at Camelot.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago

Bras are bad enough, now I have to learn how to take off a hauberk?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ok if you are wearing that then I'm wearing a wig, corset and big puffy dress.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

gotta one-up her in masculinity, make sure the frills are at least twice the size of yourself, and the shoes pointy enough to inflict stab wounds.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago

Finally I could say "m'lady" without shame.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago

Pledge fealty and marry her immediately

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

Make sure the pageboys are still around, cause getting in that mail is gonna be a team effort.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Invite her back to my place for some jousting.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Hope she Lays on Hands me

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Jolly cooperation is what I'd do

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

If it wasn't the plan already, changing them to Medieval Times.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

Oh... So I guess I can pass for a Wizard...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

"Lo, see ye her, all gleamin' in her plate, like some manner of queen, sittin' high in her gilded carriage, thinkin' herself bettr' than us 'cause of her fine metal and steed of silver."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Drive to Constantinople, to offer like it's 1204

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

What a Dame!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

Taking off that chainmail will rip half of her hair off. If that's your thing...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Why would she ever take that off?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

She should be okay if she's wearing one of those hair things underneath. I forget what they're called. It bunches up your hair like a shower cap and keeps your hair from getting in the armor

Edit: the girl here is not wearing one it seems though

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

It's called a coif. They also serve a critical part in terms of shock absorption.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Thats a kind of a turnoff

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Typically a person wears a cap of some sort under the chainmail so that hair doesn't get entangled.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Too much makeup ! Deal breaker.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Definitely pretty pointy elbows