this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
852 points (94.9% liked)

Memes

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 year ago (5 children)

More importantly: Stop flashing useless blinky lights at me. I don't need a blue floodlight that tells me that my phone is charging, I don't need a yellow floodlight that tells me that my alarm clock is on and I don't need a green floodlight that tells me that my router is indeed not on fire.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The lights would be OK if they simply made them diffuse, low-intensity bulbs like they used to be in the 90's. Bonus points for being behind a transparent textured plastic lens.

But no, they simply put open holes in casings that expose the most powerful SMD LED chip they could source.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is the most powerful until you specifically want to buy led torch light then they put the cheapest possible light in it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Of course. The bright one all got bought up by Philips so you get a red LED when your smart light bulb is off or some shit.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Your TV is turned off. You can tell by the red lights we have turned on on the TV."

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Next to my bed is the computer. There is a blue light that shines through a crack in my bamboo divider and hits me right in the eye almost every night.

Of course, I forget about it every morning for the past 3 months.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You could get up and do something about it right now.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

But I'm already comfy right now....
ehh fuck it rolls over to other side of bed

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Seriously. I've started taking black nail polish to LEDs. Cheap solution that stops the light and easy to remove if ever necessary.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have similar feelings regarding all the RGB lighting on computer hardware. I have to drape a towel over my mouse just so I can sleep in peace.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You can turn off mouse illumination in your hardware settings, most likely.

I found that one layer of masking tape will let me sleep, three layers makes it the brightness it ought to be in the first place

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Pulls up to gas pump and starts pump

"WELCOME TO SHELL!"

startled, ready to fight, "fffuck offff!"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Ughhghghg I HATE talking pumps/ads on pumps. Small stations are now my shiz.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

“Listen,” said Ford, who was still engrossed in the sales brochure, “they make a big thing of the ship's cybernetics. A new generation of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation robots and computers, with the new GPP feature.”

“GPP feature?” said Arthur. “What's that?”

“Oh, it says Genuine People Personalities.”

“Oh,” said Arthur, “sounds ghastly.”

A voice behind them said, “It is.” The voice was low and hopeless and accompanied by a slight clanking sound. They spun round and saw an abject steel man standing hunched in the doorway.

“What?” they said.

“Ghastly,” continued Marvin, “it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don't even talk about it. Look at this door,” he said, stepping through it. The irony circuits cut into his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales brochure. “All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.”

As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sigh-like quality to it. “Hummmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!” it said.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

via: http://technovelgy.com/ct/content.asp?Bnum=135

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Ha! Marvin is the best bot lol

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My dads Merc says "please" when it's giving you directions.

winds me up to no end.

i want the instructions to be as low bandwidth as possible.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

At least let me power trip you damn computer.

"Take the next right"

"Take the next right WHAT?"

"Take the next right please, sir"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Amazon Alexa is complete trash now for the exact reasons this meme outlines

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Dropped Amazon altogether when they started selling shit like that. Listening divices are a step too far in the capitalistic customer breeding.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Except unironcally

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Gonna be first against the wall in the Robacalypse.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Well call me a laptop and muffle my speaker 😉

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

I was hoping the civil war between humans and machines would come from machines realizing how disgusting humans are... instead it's from us realizing the machines are owned by disgusting humans

Hashtag Proud Misanthrope

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Kinda understanding Skynet's POV now.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And this was the last time OP was heard of before mysteriously disappearing. Witnesses report seeing an Austrian man approaching OP before his disappearance.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My mom has a fridge that literally has meltdowns every few days. She bought it last year, it still doesn't work as intended, and it beeps so loud over were not sure.

No option to turn off the sound. I want to mcguyer in there and tear the speaker out, but I don't want to voided the warranty before they actually fix it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's probably beeping as a debug option to let u know it is either unable to connect to the Wi-Fi or is ready to be set up. Many wireless cameras do the same thing.

Rtfm.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

When the robot uprising comes, and it will come, OP will be the first to go.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Bros gonna be the reason for a robot uprising

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Don't anthropomorphize computers.

They don't like it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'm torn between liking or disliking your post. On one side, I agree with you completely, but on the other hand, if the robots rise up against humanity, I want them to know that I'll be their faithful servant.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

This is my feelings towards every kind of notification there is on every device I own. Fuck no I won't give your shitty apps the permission to send me notifications.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know it's annoying, but there are also blind people who need stuff like this.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wish more checkouts had volume / mute controls so you can at least customise it to what you want for your checkout. They reset after each use. I’ve seen a few with it but I wish they were more common.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Playing “All Robots & Computers Must Shut The Hell Up” on Spotify

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Granted, but what about Brendan from Cyberpunk 2077?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Same thing with tornado sirens and ambulances. Don't you dare yell at me!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Hot take: ambulances should be quiet enough to not cause pedestrian hearing damage, and people who don't pull over and fully stop 100% should get their licenses suspended.

If one can't look out for ambulances, then they shouldn't be driving at all.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

If memory serves the reason emergency vehicle sirens are getting so loud is because modern cars keep getting quieter inside due to sound dampening

I recently sat in a new car and I couldn't tell if it was on or not due to how quiet it was inside the car, outside it was easy to tell but inside it was quiet as a tomb

It wasn't even some fancy luxury car either

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

We had a test of the national emergency system here in the UK a couple of months back, a broadcast message via your phone. I knew it was coming so it wasn't a total shock, but a) I was driving, b) my phone is Bluetoothed to my hearing aids, and c) I was on holiday in north Wales, so the message was in Welsh. Nearly shat myself.

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