this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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How about an adolescent kangaroo?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (5 children)

What's just a little smaller than a goose? I do know my limitations.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a man who has witnessed Duck Raping Season, best avoided.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I would seriously consider some of the larger animals discussed here, if necessary, in self defense.

But not a goose. A goose comes at me, and I'm going to flee. Those suckers mean business.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (5 children)

A kangaroo would fking shred you. And while you're trying to hold your intestines in it'll then beat the snot out.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Anything larger than a small insect already freaks me out, so I'm going to pass on this challenge :)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No idea, a capybara maybe?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Do my hands have to stay bare?

Like, if there's a stick around, can I pick up the stick? If there are rocks around, can I throw some rocks?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (6 children)

How about an adolescent kangaroo?

I reckon a full grown kangaroo. Not that I think I'm stronger (or that it wouldn't fuck me up), but in a fight to the death I think I could outsmart it and outmaneouver it.

I do not think this is close to a 100% certainty though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Those fuckers can move.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ya I think you could get behind it and maybe do a headlock. Maybe?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

SWEEP THE LEG!

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

By mass or dimensional extent? If the latter, Japanese Spider Crab (12ft wide). If the former, a large dairy cow (2400lbs).

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A really, really, really sick elephant, so far gone that it cannot move anyway

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

A fat orange cat 🐈❤️

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Cat bites can have some dangerous bacteria at least, considering how much damage the more lazy of my cats can do if you try to force him to take a pill, I don't think I'd really want to fight one that actually was fighting for all it's worth

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

On land?

A seal or penguin

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

They're both pretty slippery though.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (9 children)

I've thought about this kind of question for a long time. I reckon I can beat up about 85% of the world's population. I am a large man with quite a bit of experience fighting, none in a ring or a cage.

With that said, probably a fully grown dromedary.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Depends. Do I need to win or is a draw an acceptable outcome? If it's the latter, the blue whale. What's it gonna do, beach itself?

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