Asklemmy

I think I might throw frequent STD screens on that list as well. Maybe talk with a counselor too just to make sure your mind is in a good place.

This is the first time I’ve heard about advice #3. It makes sense but I never thought about brushing becoming a vector.

11. Get monthly tests at your local STD clinic and whenever you are worried.
12. Keep a crowbar handy if you are having sex with robots (and some humans).

This is wonderful and detailed advice but you can combine the circumcized and uncircumcised points. Studies on circumcision having any medical or protective benefit have been highly influenced by religious interests. The biggest ones by the Bill & Melinda Gates foundation in the 2000s look like pure philanthropy on the surface but people involved were calling for mass circumcision before they did the study. They draw a correlation with questionable methods that people who received free circumcisions in Africa had less cases of AIDS, which could be from any number of social or economic factors even if the data could be trusted. Medical organizations do not consider it to be a benefit.

OP probably is on a manic bipolar episode. :P

But yeah, a good GP can also answer sex safety questions.

Agreed! Your doctor can also help set up regular testing for you and tell you what to look out for and everything.

A therapist may be a good idea, too, for the same reasons you mentioned.

i came here to say something similar: reddit is the only place that has more than basic information on something like this and i wish there was a way that i didn' t have to recommend reddit.

I don't know how it looks on Lemmy, but on Kbin the words aren't struck through. OP, you definitely want to remove them.

Ok I get how tranny is a slur but wtf is wrong with calling a hooker a hooker? Isn't that word just a synonym for prostitute or is there some weird american subtext I'm too european to understand?

100%

But each practice involves different levels of risk. Kissing random strangers has a different level of risk from having anal sex with them, and a different level of risk from having oral sex, piss play, etc. Some stuff seems obvious, other stuff isn't as intuitive. And for people who engage in risk behavior, knowing how risky it is makes all the difference in the world. Knowing that having anal sex with an escorts is way riskier than having vaginal sex with her makes all the difference in the world.

I'd be really curious to see material addressing contagious diseases and prevention specifically for promiscuous people, I wonder how it would differ from information addressed to a general audience.

i've learned from reddit and the knowledge i've gain feels less delusional and much more grounded in reality than anything a doctor has ever told me; try using a condom in a sex club (bathhouses not so much) and you'll end up learning how to enjoy your own company and block out being surrounding by men very enthusiastically enjoying their time with each other. lol

It's been a long time since I've looked into their stuff, so this might be dated advice, but there's also sex educators like Dr. Ruth Westheimer and Dan Savage.

You can say whatever you want, just like always. But sex workers and their allies don't have to like or support you using demeaning terms to refer to them that they don't like.

If you want to be a decent, considerate person, just refer to them as sex workers (instead of hookers, or prostitutes, etc. Some don't like the term escort, either.) It's not hard.

Right?

In General we don’t.

I'm the least attractive guy you'll ever meet, I have zero self confidence, big social anxiety, and mild ASD. I have the personality of a disgruntled cat. Somehow even I have managed to not only have sexual partners, but also now I'm married and have two kids. This is not meant to be bragging at you, putting you down or rubbing it in. I am saying don't dispair, it can happen, and it does happen, and there is no secret, it's got nothing to do with being attractive.

You don't have to be that attractive. While attraction does matter and does help, personality plays a huge, huge role. I'm bi and find most people to be physically attractive in their own way, but only a small minority of people have attractive personalities.

You may also want to check the sexual-asexual realm of possibilities. Watching sex, wanting to have sex, pursuing the act of sex and actually having it are very different things that may or may not be your cup of tea.

There a ton of different ways to get laid. And depending on what your looking for, there are different requirements.

Most commonly people who don't get laid are looking for some level of intimacy with someone that actually finds them attractive. Which means that hookers are not an option.

Commonly people in this category have two issues (I'm probably projecting :P, but I don't have much to work on):

1. Standards too high. Just like poor people try to become billionaires. Sexless people wish for a harem of super models. Practice flirting with less attractive women until you learn to connect with women on a deeper level which will make lowering your standards to reasonable levels easier.

2. You're unattractive. A bit similarly to #1, influencers and your own expectations for a partner are warping your perception of how attractive you need to be. Seeing as the level of attractiveness you wish you had is completely unattainable, you give up or you look for ineffective shortcuts.
   Don't worry so much, work on the basics: good hygiene, not terrible clothes, some level of social competence, a minimal amount of confidence. The minimum requirements are far lower than what you'd expect or what most people would think.

(Note being financially stable also helps in terms of minimum requirements for attractiveness, but it's not like you need the incentive of getting laid to want to be financially stable).

Keep working on both #1 and #2 and eventually they meet and you get laid and have a good time!

1. I'll sneak in a third point here. If you're a man, your relative attractiveness automatically goes up until your 40s vs women of the same age. But the change is most noticeable when you hit your early 30s. So, worst case scenario, after a few years, the odds shift in your favor.