this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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ADHD

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Alternatively:
"What's your name again?"
"T*********"
"Sorry, what?*
"Ti********"
😐

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Nice to meet you Timberly"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Haha! I had someone tell me their name a few weeks ago. Kinda sounded like coffee so his name is now coffee. Can't for the life of me remember his actual name and I've asked numerous times. I usually just hope that I don't get in a situation where I need to know their name. Fun times. At least we can laugh about it.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"(Okay. Okay, okay, okay, here goes.) Hey, I'm so sorry, I'm so very bad with names, what's yours again? (Gawd that was awful, but it's over, we did it, I'm so proud of us, we overcame our fear and.... FUCK what did they say?!)"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

…“Sorry, I meant what’s your second name? Of course I knew your first name Gary! You’re so silly Gary”

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

“Oh don’t sweat it, I’m useless with names too!” (… … oh fuck! I should’ve asked their name! That was the perfect, consequence-free moment)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

And then a year goes by and you still can’t remember, so you give up and just say “hey there”

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I was expecting the DK rap :(

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Constant issue for me. I realized how much of a relief it was the other day when someone asked my name again after being introduced 15 minutes earlier, I got a chance to ask them their again and I felt a little more human for a bit.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Something that helped me was realizing that names are hard for everyone.

Unlike faces, which a lot of people also struggle with, names are completely arbitrary. They don’t help you identify a person at all unless you already know them. Facial features at least help you recognize someone but “Tim” or “James” could be 20 people you have met this year alone.

Everyone is bad with them, so just admitting to it is actually either a huge relief or at least understandable to the other party, like your experience. I find it’s typically the former, and after they share their name again, they confirm they have mine right, or ask in kind because they also forgot. It’s a human moment.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (3 children)

At least you remember to ask people for their name I had it happen that I didn't ask for someones name until I knew them for more than half a year

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was afraid to use my girlfriend's dad's name that I 100% knew - because what if I don't actually know

Never remembering names (I can barely remember faces) has always been a thing and I think I've just gotten good at rarely using them.

That being said, my GF at the time is now my wife, and I actually say her dad's name now. Turns out I was right all along!

..I think

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

If it weren't for "you" and "your" I probably wouldn't be able to survive. I'm genuinely the most oblivious and forgetful person that I know.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

The worst in when you interact with someone almost every day for months and you know their name, but then you meet them after a 3 month break and have no fucking clue.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

haha. I didn't know people's names whom i worked with for over 2 years.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I find that repeating someones name after they introduce themselves greatly helps with remembering it.

[–] boogetyboo 5 points 1 year ago

Yep, 'I'm Steve', 'Steve? hi Steve, nice to meet you' is exactly what I do and it helps.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So this is dumb but I’ve been carrying around a little notebook to write random things down, and I’ve taken to recording names of new people I meet. Also people are way more forgiving of forgetting names and I’ve also accepted that people that aren’t are not worth being around anyway.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I see your dumb notebook and raise you an obsidian notes database… that idea didn’t last long…

Seriously though, little notebooks are lifesaving.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

But what if they wear a different color shirt, or even worse, get a haircut?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I once had an acquaintance/friend for 4 years who told me their name when we first met. I immediately forgot it of course but managed to avoid referring to them by name the whole time and I only found out what it was again when I told them I was moving overseas and they gave me contact details to reach them after I moved. So funny suddenly achieving that 4 year long goal of one day figuring out what they were called like that. Of course, I lost the contact details and forgot their name immediately after that but on the day I was able to thank them using their name for the first time in years and it felt very satisfying.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Why even ask for it when it's not like I will remember it anyways

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There is a lumosity game about remembering names.

I played that game ONCE for about 15 minutes and since then I've been able to remember names 5x better than before.

There's no fundamental shift in memory capacity, the game just trains you to pay attention when someone says their name. After a few repetitions, it sticks.

Highly worth it. Though, now I remember names so good it freaks people out.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's why I always introduce myself even if I do remember their name. It's easier on everyone.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I just pretend to have dementia it makes everything easier

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

whatever you say Toad!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think this is not just an ADHD trait.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

There are no traits exclusive to ADHD. Even executive dysfunction isn’t completely unique to ADHD…

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The internets obsession with ADHD is annoying. No not everything is ADHD.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Not everything is ADHD, but ADHD does affect brain functions which are common to most humans.

It doesn’t give us a distinctive blue head or hot dogs for fingers, it manifests in subtle ways. Hence the post.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Seems like a bit of crap thing to come out with in a specifically ADHD group; why are you here?

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Because not everything is ADHD?
Can alcoholics blame everything they do on alcohol? No.
Are you a unlikable person because you're depressed? No.
Are you less than a human bean because you don't drive? No.

Who you are is not defined because of those.

I'm just saying. Not everything you do is because of ADHD.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

No one is saying it is.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

why does this always happen?? :(

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

You errr, you know which community we’re in right? :P

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

of course, but I still am frustrated that this always happens

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Anyone do a thing where to remember the name you mentally attach them to someone you already know. Then right on cue you can remember the link but not the name of the family member you linked them to.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have a very specific way of remembering names. I don't know if it will work for everybody but I find It works 95% of the time. When someone is being introduced to me I get the new person to tell me their name and then I get somebody else to introduce me then say their name back to them. Instead of just one memory pathway being built I have multiple ways at once.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Nope. I do that too, but "It's great to meet you, (name)." is a script and as such is RAM-access only.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Sigh… more often that I could admit

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I have a fun thing. I’ll meet a new coworker. Let’s call her Sara. I learn her name after a few days and say, “Hi Sara!” when I see them in the halls.

One day, I’m at the mall. This random person says, “Hi Kekahi!” And I say, “Hi… you!” It’s Sara.

They were out of place! I cannot be expected to recognize someone if I see them in a place where I don’t usually see them. That’s asking too much!

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