this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
386 points (94.7% liked)

ADHD

9612 readers
50 users here now

A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

Rules:

Encouraged:

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Autism

ADHD Memes

Bipolar Disorder

Therapy

Mental Health

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Idk what you're all complaining about. Just focus harder. /s

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

You’re just not trying hard enough

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (4 children)

“Parents take you to a psychologist”

Can’t relate to that bit, my mother refused to even take me to the opticians because she insisted there was nothing wrong with me.

These days she thinks I’m making the ADHD stuff up, and occasionally asks me why I don’t just take off my glasses for a while…

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sorry dude that sounds rough.

I was thankfully provided transport, but I was also subjected to a long lecture on why I “don’t want to be on medication”.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I can relate to that, they’re suddenly experts on a condition that they don’t understand and the medication to treat it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is your mom my mom? Are we siblings?!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

squints eyes reads username

Odds are in favour

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

But why would my parents take me to a doctor when my mom does all the same stuff?

"It's normal." ...uh, no. Mom had undisagnosed ADHD.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Can I ask how well you now look after yourself as an adult? Cause I grew up similarly and have huge issues caring for myself, it's like I can't identify what is good for me

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It’s quite difficult, I was told a lot that I just need to get on with stuff and the response was “it’s not a problem” to any issues.

I once had a bad infection on my leg and just ignored it until people at work said I needed to speak to someone. Eventually I ended up at the hospital, the doctor was quite surprised at how bad I’d let it get, and was even more shocked when I said I was going back to work after 😂

She basically said that there’s no way I should be going back to work, and said I needed to take a few days off and take antibiotics. My mum said it wasn’t that bad…

I also registered with a dentist for the first time in 10 years recently, and had a load of fillings done. My mum kept telling me I didn’t need them unless my teeth hurt (they did, but she ignored me saying that), and that the dentist was just trying to rip me off, despite them showing me pictures of the decay on some teeth.

All I can really say is that it’s best to book appointments for any issues, and then gauge whether it’s something that you should have just been putting up with based on the doctor/professional’s advice. Then eventually you’ll get some kind of rational basis for what needs to be sorted and what you should be putting up with.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I’m in this post and I don’t like it, 😆

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Everythinga checks out except the last about the parents. My mom said she was sorry and told me that schools and parents were not taught about those things and she didn't knew better. She was really sad. Poor mom did her best

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

This brings back memories I'd rather repress.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Diagnosed at 47. It's been a helluva ride. I've been addicted to more substances than you can shake a stick at. Car crashes. Destroyed relationships. Academic disasters. Depression. Criminal justice. Happy now though, trying not to look back but it wasn't all bad. Every day I do a bit of work on rebuilding my self esteem.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just started meds at 29. I can’t actually get my work done, I can see how little I could accomplish before. It’s crazy.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Similar story, started at 24, bout a year ago. Only just managed to find the best dose.

Oh how small the world seemed before.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Can I ask what you are on ? I have some adderall but it scares me I’ve only used it once .

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Vyvanse. Essentially adderall but slow release. I’ve heard it’s much smoother when it comes on.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Like OP said, I am on Vyvanse as well and I found it to be much better than adderall. I feel a little more like myself.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

I did not need to be attacked like this today

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I got diagnosed at 35, and when I got out on Adderall, I got mad. I say there, no bees buzzing in my brain, focusing on one thing, thinking to myself, "THIS IS HOW NEUROTYPICAL PEOPLE FEEL ALL THE TIME?!"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just got my six year old diagnosed and we are learning how to help her develop strategies to deal with it. For now, we're keeping meds on the back burner, but anyone have more recent experience with meds as a child? My husband wasn't diagnosed until he was an adult and we don't want to immediately start with meds or use his coping method of Adderall and copious amounts of caffeine.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Out of curiosity is there a particular reason you're avoiding meds for them other than the stigma associated with stimulants? It's a first-line treatment for ADHD not a last resort.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

that hit me too. people want to avoid what is the mostly likely thing to work. how stimulants affect adhd people: the enhance concentration, making it possible to learn and grow in a healthier way, to succeed. they don’t do the same thing that they do to someone without adhd. just like insulin for a type one diabetic.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Mostly because she's six. It's not so much about the stigma, but that my husband and I both feel that medication simply covers up the issue rather than learning ways to work with how her brain works. We will absolutely get her meds if need be, but right now things like movement breaks at dinner seem to be really helping.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Without intending to be pinickity, I would just like to say that, long-term studies of stimulant medication show growth in the areas of the brain ADHDers are typically underdeveloped.

Making no comment on you decision, I just wanted to challenge that it merely covers up the issue. It may very well be that understanding herself and ADHD-educated parents are the only necessary tools (I wouldn’t know - sounds like she’s lucked out). But the medication does actually address (to some extent) aspects of the underlying problem enough to be neurologically measurable.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh yes, it does address the underlying problem. Absolutely. We aren't thinking of meds as a last resort, but simply after we all have some tools in our belt to help manage the symptoms. The underdevelopment is interesting. I'll look into that, but it likely won't affect our decision regarding medication.

Thank you for your comments and replies. They are very well thought out.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't know how well this helps with a young child but I have been learning a lot from this YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you so much. I'll check it out.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

This was me except major depressive disorder + dysthymia + generalized anxiety

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I'm sorry. That sounds horrible. I have ADHD but I didn't have trouble like that. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’ve known I was adhd since I was like 10, but I was only medicated for a couple years (Ritalin I think, hated it) is getting medicated as an adult really that much of a game changer? I fantasize about getting an adderall prescription and having all of my problems be solved by a pill, I know that really won’t be the case

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I’d think of it a bit like this. Doing all your taxes and small print forms is definitely possible without glasses, but it’s blurry, headache-y, and takes a long time. For me medication has been a bit like putting glasses on. Yeah doing taxes still sucks but it’s a bit of a relief from extra ADHD challenges.

As an Adult, theres a lot of tasks that it helps with. It certainly won’t match your fantasy but it definitely is a game changer.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

This made me tear up. Working with my son through his adhd issues made me angry and sad I went through the same without any support.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

It took a huge amount of time and self reflection to realize that I'm not lazy and I'm actually trying my best. It's sad to think how misunderstood I was for so, so many years.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I’m just now getting diagnosed, and I’m not super young. It has been starting to hit me, how much of my childhood is explained by this. This starter pack just drove in the point. It’s not all accurate, but the stuff that is accurate hits deep.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

It's at times like this that I am reminded how lucky I am to have had such great parents. I mean I made it to 41 before even beginning to suspect I had adhd, but in the 80s if you didn't literally run around screaming all the time it couldn't be adhd! But my parents always treated me as a person and didn't do any of that shit - for that I am grateful!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Yes.

Although I was also of an age when I was diagnosed (40), where it not only threw my whole life up to that point into a different light….it also threw my parent’s lives up to that point into a different light. Because part of why I was sure I was ‘normal’ for 40 years was because my whole family did the exact same things….🤦🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ouch. I should just show this to my psych.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Do you think psychs get shown a lot of memes nowadays? Never thought about it until now

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Basically me without the parents taking me to a psychiatrist. My parents didn't believe in that either.

As an adult my sister and I both got diagnosed with ADHD, and all my siblings and I got diagnosed with PTSD.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Wow it's fuckin scary how accurate this is.

edit: lmao i forgot i had already seen this

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I got diagnosed with ADHD-PI at 23, after going no-contact with my abusive parents and finally getting therapy. Growing up, I always knew there was something different about how my brain processed things, but would have never known it was ADHD because I didn’t have any hyperactive symptoms. I was constantly being told that I was lazy, didn’t care, and immature, and being threatened and physically abused didn’t help either. I’m so glad I finally got diagnosed, found meds and organization systems that work for me, and know that neurodivergence is a normal thing!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

My mom was the one that didn’t think adhd existed at all. Even with psychs and teachers telling her that I have it severely.

She was recently diagnosed off the cuff by her psych and when she told me I was like “so does it exist now? Do you believe in it now?” And her only response was “god cameranotfound, that was so long ago. Can’t you get diagnosed too?”

I fucking have, but getting an actual psych to do an eval to be able to get me medication is damn near impossible. Thanks mom.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

It does apply to a lot of other disorders and illnesses.

load more comments
view more: next ›