A summary of ideas commonly proposed by Republican politicians in response to school shootings:

1. Harden schools against intruders by locking doors and installing bullet proof glass

2. Reduce the number of entrances and exits to further harden schools against external attackers

3. Install metal detectors to prevent students or visitors from bringing guns onto school property undetected

4. Eliminate backpacks/ require clear backpacks to prevent students from concealed carrying weapons

5. Arm teachers so they can kill school shooters

6. Hire more armed peace officers/school police to respond more quickly to school shooters

7. Require panic buttons to more quickly alert police to the presence of a school shooter

Notice that all of these ideas are reactive, and that none of these proposed solutions extend beyond the bounds of school property. It is assumed that there are people with guns who will try to kill schoolchildren, and they aren’t going to even try to solve that problem. They just take the existence of school shooters for granted, as a though it’s an innate part of society or a naturally occurring phenomenon like earthquakes.

That position would be a lot more defensible if the US wasn’t an outlier among developed nations for gun violence, and in particular school shootings.

why? so the police can get there and stand around staring at the punisher logos on their phones?

i'm not against this, i guess, but it's just... less than the bare minimum.

Plot Twist: The panic button alerts the nearest police station to stay the fuck away from the school, cuz they might get shot there!

I guess they'll be able to say,"See! We care about the issue!" Without taking one meaningful step. It just gives deplorables an out to vote Republican.

I guess it's better than the "guns for teachers" bullshit, but fuck... Surely we can do better

How many videos will we see of kids filming their friends hitting the button just for likes?

That's great and all, but presupposes that whoever’s on the other end of that panic button will actually respond and do so effectively or in time. Uvalde and Parkland both had cops make it on site in a reasonable amount of time, but they were basically useless in both cases.

It feels terrible to joke about this but...

I think they should incentivize the tech industry to leverage the power of machine learning for utilizing a cybersecurity mesh based on metaverse training data to control AR-capable machine gun turrets powered by AI.

That should be more effective.

If they put as much effort into gun violence as they do banning drag shows and the like they might actually do something worthwhile.