this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
434 points (98.7% liked)

Risa

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Star Trek memes and shitposts

Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (3 children)

John Deere™ Tractor Beam

No you can't repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When they're broken, it's easier to just fire them out as projectiles.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Eject the ~~Warp Core~~ Tractor Beam -Shaxs

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

And there is only one repair shop per quadrant.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Nothing beams like a Deere

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

data turns around
"captain, did I execute humour successfully?"

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

(I almost chose this pic for the last frame instead, but I loved Picard's dumbfounded face too much)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Captain's Log. Stardate 23170.6
I have growing concerns about commander data's new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.

Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge's beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.

Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after, that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.

Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.

In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.

Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite shifts to avoid further contact.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think Data just sitting there like everything is normal is perfect for the ending.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

He looks more like he is trying to puzzle out a confusing problem in his head.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My stance is better in this one. More dynamic.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Indeed, number one.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

The closer your pelvis is to someone's face, the more leadership they get. That's what they taught at the Academy and that's good enough for my pelvis.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I believe you mean "successfully, you lunkhead "

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Would feel right at home in Spaceballs. Has similar energy to "jamming the radar".

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ahahhahahaa this is so silly, I love it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

This is beautiful ... this is what Risa is all about

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And don't get me started on voice commands.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Well, loud-voice-only password entry is probably the best invention on all of those series.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Is beautiful! You scratched an itch I didn't even know I had.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.

When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process "getting a green card" on account of the new ID badge's color.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?

Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"Too strong, Mr. Data, use the Kubota B5100 setting"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, they can't all be winners, but I still enjoyed it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I unfortunately can't change who I am.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Nothing unfortunate about it.

You. We like you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Warp 9 to Planet Kubota, there are ripe right-to-repair maidens to be rescued!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Technically correct

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I said "argh" out loud, which means this is is perfect

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I wholeheartedly support this goal

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sometimes an idea can be so dumb, it comes back around again as GENIUS. Congratulations.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Lol, thank you

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

We've gone back in time to season 2!