this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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Caught at a party (startrek.website)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 147 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Story time:

My ex lived in another town and I went there by train. She waited for me on the station platform. I saw her first and took a detour over the neighboring platform because it was pretty crowded. I walked up beside her without her noticing me. Mind you, what follows was completely impromptu (we were both weirdos):

I looked sideways on her tits (she had nice really big tits, like, top 5% big). I spoke pretty loud so a lot of bystanders could hear it.

Me: Hmm, nice tits! Wanna fuck?

She checked me out from top to bottom.

Her: Sure, why not.

Me: OK. But, I gotta know what you taste like first.

Her: OK.

We went on to make the sloppiest wet kiss tongue-in-throat-style.

Me: Your place?

Her: Yah, let's fuck.

People looked at us in disgust, shock, or disbelief. Only one guy had the widest grin on his face. While going I gave her ass a good squeeze. The looks on the faces were priceless.

[–] [email protected] 80 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That’s close to one of the running jokes that my wife and I have. When we’re in the grocery or department store and we spilt up for a few, when I find her, I will sneak up behind her and say, “Excuse me ma’am, I know you don’t know me, but you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Can I pay for your stuff and take you back to my place?”

I always think I’m funny. She? Only sometimes. Me? Always.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't mind if you offered to pay for my groceries either wink wink nudge nudge

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Are you a goer? Wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Only one guy had the widest grin on his face

https://media.tenor.com/Pa78nrgQkscAAAAd/survivor-omg.gif

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

This looks like Survivor? What's the context?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

I always see it when the lady got smashed in the face by a watermelon but I think they’re really two different events.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 11 months ago

(she had nice really big tits, like, top 5% big)

I wasn't going to read till the end but you convinced me

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago

My wife and I do that sort of thing all the time to each other, and it's always fun. She used to work as a bartender in a restaraunt, and after work I'd go hang out there just to be with her and sometimes I'd hit on her in the most lewd manner I could manage. And she would just lean into it, it was amazing.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

That's legendary. You must really like acting

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

First time a comment got me to laugh out loud, nice.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It'd be funnier to go like "yeah I'm one of his wives" :)

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Disagree

[–] [email protected] -1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Polyamory is a thing though <3 So it's not that far-fetched.

Unfortunately marriage law hasn't yet caught up to that fact in most places but I'm sure it will.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Even with polyamorous surely a surprise wife would raise some eyebrows.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

True, I think it's more the skepticism of my younglings being smarter or stronger than your younglings thing though

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ask them if they're Mormon to get a reaction

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Ooh Mormons do that? I didn't know, I thought religious people were always so monogamous.

But I think Mormons only allow for a man to have multiple wives and not a women to have multiple husbands. I'm all for polyamory but it must be both ways.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Hahaha that is such a class act honestly I love memes like this