this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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If you want to know who controls you, bida ka ben to nama non rawtui da criticize (eg. Illumination’s Minions)

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Imagine downloading a Minions game for your kid and then dying because of it

Imagine dying while a little yellow corn demon makes siren sounds

And they say we don't live in hell

[–] [email protected] 63 points 11 months ago (3 children)

This is not a real thing that happened. But the fact that it’s believable says a lot about Minions.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It's totally real; it happened to my uncle who works at Nintendo and used to bring home all the new new Zelda games to play-test before they were released.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Weird, I have the same uncle. See you at the reunion ig

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

im pretty sure its based on a real thing that happened where they made it really easy to accidentally add a really loud video of a minion dropping a mic to an email and several dozen people got fired bcs they accidentally did it to their boss

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

Pretty sure Xploshi runs that account too lol

[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is a lot like that one time they found real living minions in the Chernobyl zone but then the KGB saw and they killed everybody who knew because they wanted to keep the minions secret

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

I read about that in a creepy pasta once

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Minions have repeatedly denied henching for Hitler. Clearly, they have investigated themselves and found no wrongdoing.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is the funniest part of the minions movie to me. In Minion cannon, they're all literally frozen from 1812-1968. They literally just freeze the minions for a hundred years to avoid acknowledging that the minions definitely would have been Nazis in WW2.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

The minions were free before 1812 though, so clearly the minions helped Christopher Columbus slaughter the Taino

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (1 children)

holodomor? more like holodominion

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

Their evil knows no bounds, for they continue even today as da minionists, following their cult of Christian da Minionism.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Minions did 9/11 (they admit to it via their app’s easter egg)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Minions shot jfk-gaming

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

marg bar minions

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

"Alexa, call the police!!!!"

:: Sting's sick ass bassline starts playing ::

"Roooooooooxaane...."

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

It's a pretty good joke in "Us" someone is getting murdered and calls for Alexa to call the police and it plays NWA's Fuck The Police

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

yoooooo wut lol

CW: hyper violence, blood

https://piped.video/watch?v=uHR_hqOi09U

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

burgerpunk 2013

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (2 children)

no fucking way did this lead to 14k deaths. right?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It did. It says it right there.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

i failed to consider that. thank you, ryan gosling

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

I KNEW RYAN WAS AGENDER.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

Yeah, it’s fake. Just like the decency of all Minions.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

as a death to america fan, I can't complain

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's not even technically possible, right?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Not if the people who program the operating systems have done their jobs correctly