[Disclaimer: I am not a licened anything, except a class D Driver, and definitelty not a mental health professional.
The information below involves a theory that could be considered "Brainhacking."
It's a very powerful tool and should be used with informed intent. If you're able, using this method with the advice of a licenced therapist is highly recommended.
If you are not able to do that, you can and should teach yourself about mental emotional health as you engage with this theory, and be willing to update your beliefs.
Self help is popular at the moment and there are a lot of free resources out there. Social media can actually be really helpful with this, but you have to vet your sources.
I can't tell you how to vet, because I don't know. I'm self taught. I can give some recommendations, though, if anyone asks.
The more you learn, the more BS you'll be able to smell.
Just dig.]
With that said... It's possible to build your sense of autonomy by building up your ability to make informed, intentional decisions.
Most people already do this, I know.
This is about how to build it from scratch if you need to, or strengthen what you already have.
If you share this information anywhere, I ask that you share it in it's entirety. Full context is very important.
And lastly; This is a first draft. Feedback and constructive criticism is encouraged.
This guide came out of a reply to a comment on my post about Doomer Nihilists.
The post: https://lemmy.world/post/14522935
Which I also posted here: https://lemmy.world/post/14522932
The comment:
I hope you're never able to understand. Depression changes not just how you feel but the ways you can feel. The people you're frustrated with literally can't be positive in the same way you can.
My reply:
I'm certain that I won't.
That being said... I've been suffering from Chronic Depression from the age of 12. I'm in my 40's now.
I'll spare you the life story, but after a particularly turbulent ~4 years between 2016 and 2020 (completely unrelated to politics, oddly enough given the range.), I "Woke up" and started to examine the world around me as if I was new here.
During the pandemic, I began to realize that I had to understand the division and rise of authoritarianism going on in the world right now to get over pretty severe cognitive dissonance. It led me to realizing how someone can live in their own reality bubble, and understanding how that bubble gets created.
When you can present someone a black and white fact, and they deny or evade, at a base level in their mind, it is a conscious choice. A choice between evade, deny, and accept. The part of your brain that makes that choice is essentially a root level decision maker.
By utilizing that same part of the mind purposefully and rationally, you can greatly increase your sense of autononomy.
In the context of depression...
Taking back your autonomy aside from but along with healing your depression is possible.
It seems impossible because the depression is taking so much of your mental energy, you haven't been able to really use this part of your mind, and it has likely atrophied.
As you build it back up it will help you take more purposeful steps toward healing.
And to your last statement... Yeah... you can. I promise. Not instantly, but incrementally. It literally starts with making one decision. One decision over and over until it sticks. After that you move on to the next, and the next, and so on.
If you still think it's impossible, ask yourself this question and be honest with the answer:
"Am I ready to heal -yet?-"
If the answer is no, nothing can help. You gotta flip that switch. -You- gotta figure that one out.
It never fully heals, and it may wax and wane, but better is possible.
[My reply ends there, but I will continue here with the hypothetical question...]
"Okaysohowthefuckamisupposedtodothis??"
You have two separate and distinct minds in your head.
[CGP Grey - You Are Two] ~5m
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfYbgdo8e-8
And you can learn to use them separately.
This is one place where it's different for everyone. I imagine it will be easier for some and harder for others, but I'll do my best to get it started:
If you've ever had a gut feeling or heard you conscious, that's your left brain. It's the logical voice on your shoulder when a devil's on the other.
Start using that side of your brain to make decisions. Maybe purposefully choose to do something outside your routine or comfort zone. Small things first, like choosing a different flavor, or making a different turn. Use those to identify and and "isolate" your left brain's decision maker and start practicing.
It is a mental muscle. Very useful in mental gymnastics. ;P
It takes time and effort, but as it grows so does your willpower. And once it gets going it slowly starts to feed itself, and you can work more on keeping momentem rather than building it.
A couple notes:
Sometimes your left brain can be a cynical asshole, so your right brain has to step in and say "Okay listen up motherfucker. You and I both know damn good and well that this cynical take is bullshit." Or vice versa. Pay attention to and foster that.
Also, if you wanted to, you could even let each half believe in opposing ideas, as long as the rational side gets at least 51%. This is how I hold all of my spiritual beliefs.
"Will doing this fully heal my depression?"
No. Nothing can do that. The depression will never be gone, but with the right understanding to make the right decisions, this will help you to process most of, if not all of what can be healed.
You will have to feel all of your pain before it's gone, and that part is probably gonna suck.
When you are able; sit with your pain. Understand it, hold it, and when you're ready or when you need to, set it down. It will come back later, where you'll go through this process again.
On that topic; Journaling is a great way to process, as well. Most people seem to get the the best results by physically journaling with pen and paper. I feel like typing on a physical, mechanical keyboard works best for me. (But my phone works in a pinch, too!)
Talking to someone is great, too, but talking about emotional issues too often can possibly do more harm then good. Pay attention to how you feel after to know if it's helpful. Ex.: "Do I feel more relieved or more anxious?" Identify the feelings.
There are tons: Creating Art, Exercise, Being Outdoors, and so on. You'll have to find what works for you. Just don't be afraid to feel understand the pain as you do it. Sometimes you might even try to feel it intentionally. But always remember; When you're done, set it down and let it come back later.
If all of -this- seems impossible to you: Did you evade or deny? What would change if you accepted it?
Uhm... That's it, in a nutshell. This was kinda spur of the moment, and I have plans to write more of the "How" out in greater detail, at some point. But for now... Thank you for coming to my TedTalk?