this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 122 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

From: Dad

Subject: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: re: fw: FW: fw: SO TRUE.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Complete with a full chain of CC headers so you can harvest the emails of about 400 old men they used to work with and everyone at the golf club.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 6 months ago (1 children)

only Men will get this joke.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

The female mind isn't capable of understanding this

[–] [email protected] 54 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Makes me wonder what the EU men do

[–] [email protected] 74 points 6 months ago

Naked Men book obviously

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (4 children)

UK men look at books that depict beautiful women with teeth that aren't fucked up.

French men look at books that depict women who aren't cheese eating, chain smoking, fuck ugly surrender monkeys

German/Scandinavian men look at books that depict women that actually smile.

Irish men look at books that show women who aren't slobbering alcoholics

Iberian/Italian men look at books depicting women who are capable of communicating in an indoor volume

[–] [email protected] 58 points 6 months ago

Offend Everyone 100% speedrun

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Expertly done

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Found the Frenchman

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

🥵🥵☢️☢️

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Fallout 5: Lady Town

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Ooh, I thought nqked.. Doh

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

To be fair, there are naked ladies in the Bible too.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

That Song of Solomon is some horny shit.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I love the argument that it’s about the love between god and his followers. Like, nothing against horny deities even ones who fuck their followers, but this interpretation sure does make it sound like the god who demands chastity really wants to fuck you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

It's really contrived, too. This argument comes from people who will tell you that you have to use the whole Bible and not read between the lines. Then they have to struggle to find a reason for Song of Solomon to be there when it's been considered canon for thousands of years.

Can't just use the straightforward conclusion that Solomon was horny.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

The man was fucking 1000+ women according to kings. Lol at the idea they need to hide it

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Was that the one about them two daughters? I feel so bad for that father. Like couldn't they have found literally anyone else?!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

No it's an erotic poem actually. Has lines like "her breasts are like twin gazelles".

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Nice, I'll save that line for my girl 😎

Edit: She didn't get it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Here is the text. It's actually quite pretty. You don't have to be religious to enjoy it. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Song%20of%20Solomon%201&version=ESV

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Help me out here, I'm having trouble picturing this. Like... a pair of complete, full-size gazelles? Just fastened to the woman's torso? If not, which parts?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I found it!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

That's the quote yeah.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That was Lot fleeing Sodom or Gomorrah or some shit. I mean, if I thought the world was ending and the only person around was my dad, and I was female, goodbye human race okay.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

For real, humanity just deservers to die at that point I would figure.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My wife would be super freaked out and disgusted if I was reading a Bible.

She'd sit down and flip though the naked ladies one though.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Sounds like you two have a great relationship. I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and guess she's bi?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

Needs to be drawn like a 1950s newspaper comic

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You dare question the mighty Jimmy?!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Get down on your friggin knees, right friggin now, and pray with me!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Reading the BDSM sections of the bible about stoning the ladies ?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Thank you for the suffering.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Tony Zaret, so peak

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Took me a bit to figure out what BI BLE is. I initially thought it had to do with bisexuality.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Bisexual Bluetooth Low Energy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

Not that but rape and slavery for sure.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

The main guy was but some believe he was just gay

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago
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