Melbourne

I've been reading a lot of stories on Reddit about people who are caretakers for elderly relatives and there are an alarming number of people who are the victims of abusive relationships with their parents - often being groomed from childhood to care for their parents and grandparents at the expense of their own lives. It does make me wonder how many examples of elder abuse are the result of people who have been victimised hitting back.

Coercive control is generally talked about in terms of romantic relationships but it is a major theme in the way a lot of these people have been treated by their parents/families. There was one woman who was put into a caretaking role for her grandmother when she was 12 and raised with the expectation that caring was her only role in life - to the extent that she was pushed to become a nurse so that she would be able to provide full time nursing care for her grandmother in the future.

The worst part is that a lot have had all their options taken away - they have given up their working lives so have no money and no employment history, they have not had a chance to establish relationships and families of their own, and staying in an abusive caretaking relationship is the only reason they are not homeless. There are so many parallels to the experience of "battered wives" who eventually retaliate against their abuser.

I'm not sure there is any real solution to the mess that is human relationships, but hopefully the increased awareness of coercive control will help people recognise it in all sorts of relationships and increase the support available to people to get out of them.

I've accidentally trained someone that when she bonks me with her head she gets a treat. Good times lol

Update on my wallet

Found it when I got home!

Thank goodness that’s a relief!

Maybe it’s good karma if you believe in it as I returned a set of car keys to someone who dropped them before I left work.

I wish I was a crow. I'm only 2km away from somewhere I need to go via crow, but 4km by car or 6km by PT

Aw he hates me so much. Look at the loathing written all over his face

jayyysus stuck my nose in a google search for the first time in a long time and the fucking thing is unusable now

I think I'm going to do it. I'm going to betray my barber and find another one.

I can't do these places that only accept walk-ins. I want to book a time and get it over and done with.

I don't want to sit in a barber's for an hour watching a Ministry of Sound playlist waiting to get my hair cut

I managed to get a rare shot of both my snoozy pets in the same frame!

Miss Meow is snoring away loudly in her tunnel tonight, so Mr Woof has taken over her bed in the corner. I think he's decided it's a good spot to look through the window and keep an eye out for marauding possums in the backyard.

Eric Bana could have been a huge Hollywood top shelf A lister and had a huge cinematic career but chose a work/life balance and be happy.

Damn him.

I accidentally left my teaspoon in the office kitchen when I washed my dishes the other night. I didn't realise until I went to eat my lunch just now. Went to the kitchen, and it was still there! Three days later!

I don't know what the odds of a teaspoon vanishing in an office kitchen are on any single day, but they must be over 50% across three days. I was lucky!

Strange question: How do you ask for a nice big warm hug from your partner without ASKING. I feel like a need some spontaneous affection, like I come home and just get a bear hug or something. But asking totally ruins the feeling of the surprise. Coffee is like a lukewarm limp handshake for the soul, but I will take it!

wooooo. Today we had

• plumber to put in pressure reducer and new lever ceramic swishy tapware
• Cerycat to vet for checkup
• shitload of servers to complete and ship to nz

last now done, hubs at vet with cat, tapware completed, I'm having a bloody cuppa

I did not have brain worms on my politics bingo card. 🧠🪱🪱🪱

Thank you Brion.

They have changed the shape of Strepsils. I don’t recall having given permission for this.

I guess I'll hang my feet off the side of the bed then

This gentle pitter pat rain is perfect for the garden. Was looking a bit dry.

I've been getting to sleep super early (around 8/9pm) for over a week, and it's been going well, it's nice to be awake for sunrise. But tonight it just wasn't working. Tossed and turned from 8 until 10, finally got to sleep sometime around 10:30 or maybe 11, then had a bad dream and scared myself awake by 4. Can't get back to sleep, so I guess my day starts now

Was awake at 4am and grabbed to cat for a cuddle in bed. Cat fell asleep cuddled up. Cat suddenly wakes up some time later, and leaps into the air off the bed. Lucky I only got a small scratch.

Really great week so far at work. Falling quite behind on personal/life admin because I usually have no brain for it when I get home and I'm just fully switched on at work. This weekend I better not fall sick or have some other shit suddenly happen... I do need to smash through a lot of stuff.

I am glad that I feel engaged enough at work that I neither feel like I'm drowning, nor bored enough to be on my phone - it's been really great having hours away from my phone and actually concentrating on something else (and getting paid for it), even though it's behind a screen.