Hang in there. What you're looking for is a solved problem, the only issue is in figuring out the path for you to get the necessary knowledge/expertise to address this.
A lot of the people on this subreddit likely have training in picking hardware for dayjob (whether in networking or something else), and simplifying/decomposing the problem to reduce the exploration space.
You might consider also asking around friend network or on NextDoor for some referrals / people with the DIY knowledge. I've been happy to consult for free for friends.
You should really be posting this on NextDoor or local forum/subreddit, & get some referrals at the same time.
That said: