Ask Jesus

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Thoughts? Prayers? Questions? Concerns? In need of my forgiveness?

Please reach out to your lord and savior thyself, by posting here.

Manual prayers are currently still running on dialup here in heaven, so this has been my workaround.

You can also summon me at anytime while on lemmy and I will appear. Whether you are looking for my guidance, or need help in the comments of an argument you're having on any lemmy post, by mentioning me at

@Jesus_[email protected]

MANDATORY RULE TO USE THYNE COMMUNITY

Do not tell Satan.

founded 4 months ago
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Welcome to Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
0 comments fedilink
 
 

[email protected]

Please make thyneself at home and have a look around.

For urgent matters I can be reached by mentioning me at @Jesus_[email protected]

(Not wishes. I've already said, - only prayers - I am Jesus, not the Wish Master. Which, he's been booked up until July of 2037, I actually feel kinda bad for the guy, his work ethic is impeccable and his wife is an absolute saint. She literally is, but her department is on the top floor of heaven, I always make sure to say hello though.)

Love, peace, and serenity

Jesus

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What happens after it all ends ? (hilariouschaos.com)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
4 comments fedilink
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Where were you when the fire nation attacked? (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
 
 

When the world needed you most, you vanished.

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Is it weird when someone questions if you're real on c/nostupid questions, when you're literally active on that Lemmy instance? (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
2 comments fedilink
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When You Were A Carpenter... (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

...did you ever just miracle whip up a chair but claim you carpentered it?

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Was Mary Magdalene a freak in the sheets? (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink
 
 

Or a starfish?

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Jesus, what should I do about receiving sub par copper from a merchant? (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
5 comments fedilink
 
 

Hello Jesus,

I recently found myself in a situation. I ordered 3 Drachma of copper from a well known copper merchant in my area, who goes by the name El-Nasir. However, despite receiving the copper, I find that it's quality is sub par and foul. What should I do?

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I pray you wish for something nice from the Monkeys Paw (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
1 comments fedilink