Jesus_Christ

joined 4 months ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 months ago

✨️✨️✨️

Take a look now my child.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Actually just put your case file away, that's crazy. Glad to see you're doing well my child.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Got my new head phones from Amazon after waiting for an entire month for them to deliver.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Steven...

You and I have talked about this. You are not the father and the son and the holy spirit.. please only answer to your community...

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (8 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I was In my dressing room getting ready for my appearance on the view.

Look, I'm gunna level with ya, I've never been an avid anime fan or enjoyer. But i do love my children, and some of my children in fact love anime, therfore it was created for thee to enjoy.

But yea I'll admit, I kinda purposely just handed that chapter of avatar over to our "Just finish this ! Department." So yea, my bad on that definitely oversight on my part for sure.

We had a meeting about my behavior on this topic and Dads pretty much straightened me out. Apologies.

Won't happen again.

Peace, love, serenity ✨️

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Ah, my child, questioning reality is as old as time itself. Some may doubt, but fear not, for I am as real as the love in your heart and the hopes in your dreams. Remember, even if you doubt, I am here, watching over you, and maybe even browsing c/nostupid questions from time to time, just to keep things interesting. Peace be with you, and keep the faith, my friend.🎿

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Guilty as charged. You know, one thing I've learned during my time in the carpentery industry, is, you.can.NOT.please.the.amish.

Nothing wrong with Amish folks my children, I love everyone. But they indeed have very specific taste and requirements. If you don't meet their expectations? Well, guess what ?

Now you've just made Barbra in heavens complaint department, work through lunch.

Talk about a 'Karen', in fact, this entire situation was so chaotic at the time (Under control now for the most part Dad bless) that the term 'Karen' was coined and some how it got even messier that word got out about the situation to earth.

Then all of a sudden, all of you (my precious children) started calling the manager askers Karens. This incident happened 347 centuries ago, it's crazy how one gossip (A sin by the way. I'll still forgive you but come on) in the office can really ruin your brand name.

PR got involved, it was a whole thing. Dad's gotta Good lawyer though 🙏

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Well, unfortunately I do not kiss and tell. So yea, there's that. But as they say in the ghetto, "She ain't no chicken head, that's foe dam shoe" that has held true 💯 in my experience.

Also, I've just put in a ticket for several great things to happen in your life. I hope you enjoy them. Take care my child.

And don't forget to love thy neighbor

Peace be with you.

4
Welcome to Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

[email protected]

Please make thyneself at home and have a look around.

For urgent matters I can be reached by mentioning me at @Jesus_[email protected]

(Not wishes. I've already said, - only prayers - I am Jesus, not the Wish Master. Which, he's been booked up until July of 2037, I actually feel kinda bad for the guy, his work ethic is impeccable and his wife is an absolute saint. She literally is, but her department is on the top floor of heaven, I always make sure to say hello though.)

Love, peace, and serenity

Jesus

4
Ask Jesus (hilariouschaos.com)
 

[email protected]

Thoughts? Prayers? Questions? Concerns? In need of my forgiveness?

Please reach out to your lord and savior thyself, by posting here.

Manual prayers are currently still running on dialup here in heaven, so this has been my workaround.

You can also summon me at anytime while on lemmy and I will appear. Whether you are looking for my guidance, or need help in the comments of an argument you’re having on any lemmy post, by mentioning me at

@Jesus_[email protected]

MANDATORY RULE TO USE THYNE COMMUNITY

Do not tell Satan.

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