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Are these not valid questions? Serious question, don't mean to offend. I got asked the same types of questions before my doctor agreed to do my vasectomy.
My understanding is that doctors often don't just question but often refuse if they think the person should not do it. To be clear, that refusal is generally based on personal opinion, not for medical reasons.
This is exactly the issue. A friend of mine knew for a fact she never wanted to have children, but at the time was in her early twenties. Finding a surgeon who would do it was damn near impossible. Half of them refused without speaking with her husband (!) the other half just refused period saying she was young and didn't know what she wants and would change her mind later.
At NO point was 'my body my choice' part of the discussion.
There was a similarly good thread on Reddit a couple weeks back about a woman who just gave birth and was having a lot of pain and knew something was wrong, and the doctor just dismissed her and said she's being hormonal. It wasn't until her husband threatened to sue the hospital that they finally got her a different doctor, who rushed her into the ER and as I recall said if she waited another day she'd have died.
The point is, and the problem is, that medical establishment has an awful habit of denying women agency over their own bodies. Always wrapped in valid reasons, but the result is still the same.
None of those are required to be known for any other surgery. "Are you sure you want your shoulder fixed? What if in a few years you find a nice someone and want it broken again? Think of the smiles of your children when you rub this scar line!"
Your heart is in the right place, but that's not exactly a reasonable comparison. Few other surgeries, even elective ones, permanently remove your ability to do something as major as procreation.
People should have the option to have their tubes tied without judgement, but it is not as simple a decision as repairing a damaged part of the body.
As a man, I think it's the sort of experience that men struggle to understand because of patriarchal dynamics.
What I mean is: if a doctor were to:
before agreeing to schedule a vasectomy.
Interpretting these questions through the lens of my lived experience:
These are thorough but pragmatic questions. The doctor is trying to make sure I understand all the options. The doctor is a peer with special expertise and wants to make sure that I understand all the risks.
But women too often grow up in an environment which tells them:
So when they get asked a barrage of questions identical to the ones I'dve been asked, they experience them very differently. Women are not irrational to hear the exact same questions very differently if they are interpreting them through the lens of their experiences. Maybe they experience those questions as:
And too often, the doctor really does mean that.
Edit to add: I'd value other people's takes too.
Age definitely seems really valid. Like I can imagine that certain things about the operation itself can change with age.