this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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How about an adolescent kangaroo?

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Blue whale.

You never said I had to win.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They also never said in which environment:

Stranded blue whale.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In the ocean. I punch it once, it swims away. "Yeah bitch, you better run!"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

With all the blubber, would a whale even notice a punch, especially if the force was lessened due to water drag?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Notice it? Likely. Interpret it as a threat? Unlikely. Swat you like an annoying insect? Probably.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

if it was a Right Whale then by all accounts, it'd take it as a come on.
they're lovers not fighters.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Doesn’t “think you can take on” imply winning though? If not at least surviving with most limbs attached.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sit in its blowhole until it suffocates?

Obviously I am not advocating for these beautiful majestic giant beasts to be killed but if it was a life or death thing... I'd be getting in that blowhole like a big old human tampon.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

They can hold their breath for 30-90 minutes and can dive to 1000 feet. Good luck.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Their error was sitting in the blowhole. The trick is you have to go in head first so you can steal the oxygen from the whales lungs.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm so fucked. But I'll wedge myself in deep, if I'm going down I'm taking it with me!

(reality would be it'd surface and blow me out like a floppy ragdoll)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Later the whale is telling his buddy about the worst booger he had to get rid of.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

They have 2 20inch holes, so make sure to bring a buddy!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Get him on land and just keep punching for a few hours and you might just win!